Partner Relationships: Reflections on Divorce & Relationships, Part 1

Reflections on relationships

Relationships can be the source of great joy, happiness, connection, learning & discovery. Relationships (between adults*) can also expose pain, heartache, anxiety, addictions etc. Pain in relationships occurs when love and truth come secondary to the desire for facade, addictions, codependency, barter. When the pain is exposed and there are unresolved issues in the mix it is tempting to blame the other party rather than look in the mirror at ourselves and what we contributed to the relationship dynamic. 

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Parent Reflections: Sex & Relationship Education

This post was written 30 May 2018 but didn’t get published till now (December 2020).

Curiosity is a quality that leads to the discovery of new things. And personal experience is a most memorable teacher. Depending on personal choice (and often external influences) curiosity can either lead to positive growth towards love or can take us in the opposite direction – away from love. As a parent there are many opportunities to be a positive influence in a child’s/children’s life and simultaneously learn about love or our lack of it, as children ask questions and seek answers.

In our family, when the children’s curiosity naturally brought them to ask about sex I saw an opportunity and the potential for a truthful discussion about loving relationships and a variety of other topics, including: love, soulmates, soulmate romantic relationships, morality, sexuality, emotional connection, love and respecting their bodies and the nuts and bolts of the sex act itself (taking into account the children’s desire to know and my understanding of those subjects at the time).

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Reflections: Childbirth

Reflections on the birthing process

In my experience birth is a natural process that ‘just happens’ if you let it. When I say ‘just happens’ the inbuilt intelligence (instinct) in my body took over during the birthing process and did what it was designed to do, have a baby. This was the same with pregnancy, I had sex and then a whole lot of amazing processes happened that allowed a baby human’s physical body to grow and develop inside my body for 9 months.

God did the designing and creating and I experienced His incredible handiwork and still do not understand exactly how everything was created, developed and happened.

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Experiment: Operation Self-Responsibility

The children are moving out of the house and into their first homes (a tent set up) tomorrow. Each child has purchased a tent setup that will be their home until they go through an attitude shift (an emotional change) in regards to caring for the shared environment and love of others (in basic terms clean and care for their personal and shared living environment and not expect others (mum in this case) to do everything for them, and to see how their choices and actions are causing unloving situations in their lives).

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External Influences

Historically I haven’t been a deep thinker or logical analyzer of my feelings, thoughts and actions, instead preferring to skim the surface and find evidence that supports my flawed belief systems. This is a place that I have been easily influenced without paying too much attention to who or what the influence was.

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Having Children Did Not Make Me a Real Woman

Before I had children I had the false belief that having children would make me a ‘real woman’.
I thought being a mum was my only role, purpose and destiny in life. I thought that once I was married and had children my purpose as a woman would be fulfilled and life would be perfect like in a hallmark movie. I believed that somehow having children would magically fix everything in my life and make me feel great.

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