Developing Relationships: Family Meetings/Debriefs

20180225_183234.jpg

kids experiment with fire

Developing relationships

In December 2017 I realised that I wasn’t communicating with the children and I wasn’t taking the time to get to know them or giving them the opportunity to express how they were really feeling or what they were thinking. I also noticed a gap in their communication skills and interpersonal interaction. Partly this is due to the self-absorbed-ness we (the parents) have encouraged in them and part of it is due to their lack of education in how to actually interact with other people.

I felt it was important to begin a process of correcting the lack of education from myself and over the past 5 months we have began to have what I call “family meetings” or “debriefs”. Continue reading

God’s Way of Education Introduction.

God's Way

My Name is Tristan Miller,

I wish to give an impression of who I am, why I really want to be a part of this God’s Way of Education and why people should trust God’s Way of Love to create such a framework to teach and engage children and families.

This is the biggest subject I care about, which I know can be addressed with much more love than it currently is:

At the moment education for our youngsters is missing something. They are not actively learning how to actually treat themselves or others lovingly, nor how to be emotionally responsible for how they feel. There are no current widely recognised lessons for this, no state or federal framework for this sort of education.

It seems to actually be something that families are expected to provide when, at best, parents are often trying to learn about these things in their…

View original post 1,586 more words

Healing Experiment: Peritonsillar abscess (Qunisy) & Cool Stuff It Showed Me About God

In June I had a Peritonsillar abscess or throat abscess also known as a quinsy*.

I have been reflecting on the experience and feel it has helped me to begin to build some faith in God.

Being ill helped me to see a few of the incredible gifts of God’s creations, His perfect design in how he created the human body . The Truth that all physical illnesses are created from a refusal to feel emotional pain.

The exciting bit is that if we are willing to feel emotionally I believe all disease is curable. In fact disease is a feedback system to try and get us to actually feel and work through issues at a soul level rather than a physical one.

So what is a Quinsy?

A peritonsillar abscess or quinsy is a bacterial infection in the throat.  It generally involves a pus-filled pocket that forms on or near one of your tonsils. (Thanks to Google for this definition & wikipedia for the image  on right side below).

Below is an image of the abscess on the day after the pain had ceased. Unfortunately I didn’t get a picture of its development or when it was at it’s greatest size. It was really interesting, at one point pushing the dangly thing in the middle right over to the other side on a 45 degree angle, (see sketched image lower down).

Background:

In my 20’s I experienced my first Quinsy. I had a tendency to refuse to emotionally or verbally express how I felt or say aloud my real thoughts and feelings. In the end the denial & emotional build up was so great that I ended up in hospital with the throat abscess being lanced – cut and drained – on an IV drip for fluids and antibiotics for four days and antibiotics and heavy painkillers. A couple of months later it reoccurred a second time and the whole process was repeated.

Symptoms (some):

  • Pain in throat, neck & face
  • You may have a super migraine
  • seriously bad breath
  • ‘hot potato voice’ you can’t talk properly and it sounds all weird like you have a mouthful of something (you do, an abscess).
  • it is so painful to swallow you end up drooling everywhere or spitting out your own saliva & waking up in a pool of it on the pillow. I had a container of saliva each day to dispose of.
  • It is hard to sleep due to the pain
  • swallowing hurts. Taking in fluids or solids hurts so you avoid it if possible.

Present Day:

This time I had a bit of an idea about what I was in for physically. But I set out to experiment with emotionally healing the issues that created it in the first place rather than just physically alleviating the pain. This involved a totally different approach and enabled me to avoid medical intervention and the side effects of prescription drugs.

Motivated by physical pain, which was a result of denied and suppressed emotional pain, (refusing to feel my grief about lack of love of self** and my personal reinforcement of that) I did an experiment.

The ‘experiment’ took 8 days till there was no pain at all and another five for the physical abscess to go down fully. Five or so days were just pain management and trying to get away from the pain, hoping that it would ‘get better’ and 3 or so were more sincere days which really made the difference (they kind of overlapped and I had various experiences and realisations during the other days that contributed to the more emotional ‘productive’ three days).

The most important part of this experiment was making a Will based decision to feel emotionally – whatever it took – and have a sincere go at doing it God’s Way . It was the soul based decision to give it a go God’s Way that created all the positive things that followed.

I experimented with things I had heard in the Divine Truth teachings*** and tested them out for myself. This was a really awesome experience and I absolutely recommend it. I now know for certain through my own experience that denial, refusing to feel how I feel & holding onto emotions makes you sick, causes illness, and releasing emotions (feeling) helps you to heal.

I have added some of my observations and things learned during the illness below. Some feel quite firm in me and some I feel I need more time to allow them to fully sink into my soul****.

I am really grateful to Jesus & Mary for all the information and personal experiences they  share publicly about their relationship with God and feeling through emotional issues. I don’t think I would have experimented as readily without their suggestions.

 

20160704 E Quinsy drawing

I did a drawing as I didn’t get a photo of the development of the quinsy. It went from nothing to at it’s peak pushing the dangly thingy int he middle to a 45 degree angle to the other side. I didn’t think to get a photo as it hurt so much to open my mouth. Wish I had ‘cos it was really interesting.

 

The Process of Healing:

The Abscess grew larger and larger until it took up more than half my throat within 24 hours (see above image).

Lesson: Token chats with God, bargaining with God and hoping for ‘magic’ doesn’t make you better, it is just a way to continue to avoid the real issues and highlights the lack of desire for real change. ‘Surviving’ and ‘managing’ pain does not make it go away. Avoiding the real reason why you are ill in the first place causes you to stay sick & in pain.

I tried to manage my pain in all kinds of ways which didn’t work.

I came across a talk 20090801God’s Laws – Laws Governing Love of Self P1 Near the end Jesus speaks about the throat area storing grief. I allowed myself to sob.

Crying and releasing stored emotions is the most effective antibiotic that I have ever experienced. It is a marvel at how crying heals (feeling emotions) physical & emotional pain. I noticed that it involves both emotional and physical release when you really sob

I have a slogan now: “ As long as I keep crying about the real issues, everything is going to be okay”

I reminded myself ‘IF you release the casual emotion the pain will no longer be there’. Lots of things I reminded myself during this experience I didn’t know to be true for certain, I just held onto the possibility that they might be true.

I reminded myself of the Truth, that every time I break God’s Laws there is pain. So I must be breaking God’s Laws, I just needed to find out how I was breaking them & where.

I reminded myself that God was already trying to show me, so logically there must be something in me preventing the recognition of it. I then examined my denial and resistance to knowing God’s Truth. It always comes back to me and where I am out of harmony with Love – which means I can do something about it. YAY!

Lesson: God’s Truth is a relief! God’s Truth is always loving. God’s Truth helps us heal, it is the anecdote to fear. Find the Truth emotionally and you can begin to heal anything physically. Sincerely desiring God’s Truth on any matter highlights the contrast between God’s Love and our own error.

The more I prayed the more I felt  about how my unloving choices are making me sick – literally – and how they affect & harm others negatively. Harming myself does not just harm me. It harms my WHOLE soul and it harms others around me, either by educating them that they can treat me badly and get away with it which harms me and them, or by reinforcing people treating others badly.

I had a few more good sobs – real sobbing I found is different to pain management crying. It can make pain go away very rapidly. I also experienced skipping over fear and preventing emotion immediately creates more intense physical pain.

Lesson: Develop a relationship with God and you can get through anything!
I don’t have a solid relationship with God yet, but even a growing desire sets one in the right direction.

Lesson: Prayer is Powerful. Sincere prayers are always answered. God is good and has my best interests at heart!

It is amazing that crying and releasing emotion has the power and capacity to heal any physical ailment very, very quickly; God made me so superbly that I am able to heal any ailment that is within me with God’s help and goodness.

God never does anything to hurt us. It is us who harms ourselves, us who harms others or others who harm us.

I had a lot of exciting realisations but the pain didn’t go away.

It was not until I ‘gave up’ managing and was prepared to ‘try anything’ (in harmony with Love) that things actually began to change for real. I think I surrendered.

I think surrender is when you get to a point that you are willing to do it God’s way and you let God lead rather than trying to control everything yourself. You just take direction and do the next loving thing and the next loving thing and the next loving thing that is presented to you.

When I did this my Guides were able to help me and Jesus’ ‘voice over’ came into my head with invaluable reminders:

“Pain is a result of unfelt fear. All pain is created by refusing to feel emotions.”

“Do the opposite to what the fear dictates. Do the opposite to what the fear is telling you to do”

“Every time you break God’s Laws there is pain – physical, emotional, spiritual. Find where you are breaking law and fix it by feeling it”.

“It is loving to yourself and others to feel your pain and release it. God designed you to feel, you were made to feel all emotions. Have some courage.”

“it is a choice to hold onto and store your pain. You can make a different choice.”

I thought out loud a lot of things, but in brief it was basically this (I think I finally engaged my will rather than just trying to push through it):

“Okay, I know people who have done this, it can be done, Fear creates pain. What am I afraid of?”

I began with physical things, and did everything opposite to what I wanted to do because I had decided to do EVERYTHING i could think of opposite to what the fear was telling me to do.

My body loosened, my muscles relaxed a bit and my whole body felt different. The only pain left was in my throat and ear. All other pain was gone.

I was so excited, what I had heard about I had finally experienced for myself and know it to be true (in regards to physical pain).

The next day my throat was still swollen and sore, I kept doing the opposite to what the fear dictated. I swallowed normally, and kept on doing it even though it was painful and over an hour or so it was no longer sore.

The abscess was still there but I had no physical pain. It took another five days for the abscess itself to actually go down to a more normal-ish size.

Conclusion:

The emotional experiment with a physical ailment worked!

The truth is that storing emotions is painful and refusing to release fears creates more pain. I know that for certain.

I feel pretty excited to know that you can recover from a quinsy, or any physical illness, as long as you are willing to feel what you feel for real and do the opposite to what fear dictates.

The Next Experiment:

To apply what I did for a physical illness, to my emotional pain!

 



*More information on Peritonsillar abscesses you can check out the following link or press on the above links near the top of this post:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peritonsillar_abscess

** A great Talk to understand more about the issue of Love of Self: 20090801God’s Laws – Laws Governing Love of Self P1

*** Press here for more info on God’s Truth – Divine Truth.

Jesus Quote, “Clever, Clever God” From what I have observed I am starting to see what he means!

**** Some of these feelings were projected, reminded to me or reinforced to me by my Guides & spirit friends as I still have attractions showing me that I don’t have a heart based knowledge of them. Some came as a ‘voice over’ from Jesus & or Mary in my head reminding me of God’s Truth.

*****Many of the things listed are things I have heard from Jesus or Mary Magdalene. The difference for me about listing them here is that I experienced them for myself and this was the awesome part. Hearing something in comparison to feeling it is quite a different experience. I look forward to learning more through my own experiences.

****** Now it is time to grow my aspiration to feel all the fear/s. I don’t want to end up being like the Croods were at the beginning for the rest of my life

 

 

eye tears

Crying is SO good for you!

 

 

 

Principles

In my experience living by fear, (false) belief systems, addictions, resistance, rage, our emotional injuries and errors etc limits our possibilities, it limits our desires, it limits us from loving with our whole heart, it limits us from receiving. Living by our emotional injuries shrivels us.

e28ad-scan0043

I had a realisation about God’s Truth and Love. They are gifts that have the potential to create permanent positive change across entire universes, many souls at a time (though this is up to each individual soul to embrace themselves and cannot be done without their Free Will, personal desire and humility involved).

Love and God’s Truth are worth standing for and under some circumstances recently I have chosen to honour what Love would do and I have honoured God’s Truth, even when I was afraid, and what I realised was that if I did that in every single interaction that change is not only possible it is certain. It might not be world change – yet – but it gave me the opportunity to change in my life, because for a brief moment I realised that Love is wonderful and has the ability to heal. I realised that standing for Love and God’s Truth rather than self-absorbedly honouring my fears opened my world up, it gave me something to grow towards and it felt good.

This is when I began reflecting on principles. Honouring Love and God’s Truth rather than my emotional error, no matter how I feel, no matter how scared I am, no matter how seemingly futile the situation is to me, when I honour Love and God’s Truth something good always comes of it. I noticed that when I did this I wasn’t as self absorbed, my fear didn’t rule in that moment, it was there but it wasn’t dictating because God’s Truth was different to my own (what a relief) and in honouring Truth & Love, feeling how I felt in the moment change occurred, I felt more positive about the situation even though it didn’t ‘feel nice’.

I am noticing that God gives me what seems like infinite opportunity to learn, to grow, to feel and to change  (I do not always notice, recognise or accept these gifts yet, but I am beginning to see them more frequently and feel the pain of regret in not embracing some of those I recognise I rejected). The one thing God can’t do for me is feel it for me, that is the bit I need to do, to use my will to passionately grow a desire to ‘feel all my emotions all of the time*’.

I feel excited about how Love creates change and that standing for Principles of God’s Truth, lovingly, always brings about positive outcomes one reason being you are acting in harmony with God’s Laws which in my experience so far is always a good thing!

408f8-opentogod

*Quote: Jesus & Mary Magdalene

Ethical Parenting: Finding Out About Love, Starting With Ethics

 

What does it mean to Love our children?

 What would love do every moment and in every interaction we have with our partner, with children, with others?

How do we know what love would do?

 Have you heard of ‘The Golden Rule’? A Biblical term referred to by Jesus as, ‘treating others as you would like to be treated’. Notice it is not ‘how you are treated, or how you treat others’ but rather how you would ‘like’ to be treated. Or you could take it one step further and say ‘treat others as God treats me’. This is what I understand ethics (very basically) to be. The beauty of ethics is that it is easy and simple to see based on the above premiss: treat others as you would like to be treated, and in most situations this will give a good indication if you are engaging in a loving manner or not.

For me it is a process of discovery about how God treats me. I am needing to unravel a lot of false beliefs about God and have so far only heard the Truths about God not fully experienced them for myself. So I am beginning with ethics, treating others as I would like to be treated. You can do this with or without God.

What does it mean to parent ethically?

I feel we have a heap of double standards as adults especially with children. If we asked of ourselves what we ask or demand of our kids I can guarantee we would be outraged. We would feel controlled, belittled, interrupted, confined, isolated, shamed, unimportant, ignored, entitled, and probably a heap of other things not mentioned here that you probably felt yourself as a child.

I notice often that I treat kids differently to adults.

Grownups when I was a kid said things they didn’t mean, they lied and hid behind ‘nice’ facades which are not really that nice, sometimes downright terrifying. They said one thing and meant another, they didn’t explain, were dishonest and said they knew or would do things when they didn’t, wouldn’t or forgot, they made promises they couldn’t keep. Kids got in the way, were not as important as adults, didn’t get the same attention. They didn’t know what love was because they had been mis-informed and mis-educated about it also. Sometimes I wonder why people have kids if they don’t want to love them, but it seems there are many parents having kids for other reasons than love.

 I realise what I say could be very confrontational. I feel it is true though. I have been looking at my own reasons for having children, they were not pure and to love the children unconditionally. I am having to learn how to love and grow a sincere desire to want to love. I have had a screwed up version of love and a screwed up perception of parenting and I am going through a process of re-education. It feels uncomfortable often and I am coming to terms with the fact that I have not wanted to love. Rather I have wanted to be loved, to be cared for, to be seen as a ‘good mum’. I have wanted the children to demonstrate ‘good’ things about me because I have felt so bad inside of myself.

I feel sad about this because it means I have not allowed the children to just be themselves and love them for it. I have demands, expectations and investments in them. I want from them, rather than to give to them. I have manipulated, moulded and groomed them into what I want them to be, to fit my mould, rather than what God created them to be as they are.

At first I didn’t want to see what I had done. I was in a lot of denial (still am on certain issues and subjects). There are many ways to justify, minimise, deny what we have created and what we do as parents, but honestly we need to get real, get honest and see where we are unethical, where we are out of line in the treatment, especially of children, but also our partners and our brothers and sisters (other people) in general.

Many people think it is okay to shame, condescend to, belittle, hit, hurt, abuse, rage at, violently treat children to varying degrees or under certain circumstances. We say it is ‘for their own good’, ‘we have their best intentions in mind’, often we even say it is because we ‘love’ them. We blame children and excuse ourselves for all sorts of hurtful actions, not seeing that it is us who our children are reflecting in the first place and we are punishing them because we don’t want to be reminded and feel our own pains and hurt parts. It is us who children mirror and they highlight our lack of love.

Children learn so amazingly. They lean quickly and they learn from feelings not words. They reflect our true feelings not the ones we want everyone, including ourselves to believe are true about us (our facades – what we want to believe we are rather than what we actually are at this point in time).

We are responsible, we create so much of the pain in our children’s lives*** – especially when they are very young (as they get older they act out upon the injuries created by us and use their will either in harmony with love or out of it – often dependent on what we taught them until they learn or discover otherwise. Even so their actions come from things that we did to them in the first place, because we chose not to forgive our parents for their actions.), we create it by not allowing our own pain to flow and be released. We create it by suppressing our children, by teaching them to be what we want them to be, rather than be who they are as God created them. We teach our children that they are not okay as they are, they need to be something else – something we approve of, and they do that, or they rebel which ever will cause us to feel the most, and often instead of being humble and feeling our feelings we suppress and punish the child some more. What we need to do is to feel. To own how we feel as we feel it and to feel it responsibly, without taking it out on another soul. It is that simple. Feel and heal – without involving your kids, without involving others, just you and God, if you desire. That is how it is done.

We teach children that parental approval is love. I am saying it is not. Parental approval is nothing in comparison to love, it is a substitute and a poor substitute at that, and yet even as adults we are striving for it rather than seeing that the how we would like to be treated and what we would like to feel (love) from others is mostly not what we are receiving.

 

I feel that a massive, world wide, re-education program is needed that begins with Love – God’s version not ours. We need to re-educate ourselves with God’s Truth rather than the lies our parents and environment taught us as kids and the lies we continue to tell ourselves as grown ups, reinforcing our erroneous childhood educations, that keep us locked up as damaged children. We need to re-educate ourselves first and automatically this will educate our children about God’s Love and God’s Truth through example rather than theory.

If we really want to love we can begin with ethics, we can begin with treating our children as we would ‘like’ to be treated. We can stop controlling them and begin to love them. We can stop shouting at them and withholding approval of what they do or don’t do and be soft with them, teach them about love, self discovery, self responsibility and ethical behavior themselves.

We need to do this through our actions and behaviour not our words. Words are cheap and meaningless when they don’t match the real feelings coming out of us. Being honest, truthful and real is important for real relationships and friendships. To be ethical we are going to need to first be honest and see what we are doing, how we treat others and ourselves and be honest about how it actually feels. So-often we are conditioned to accept unloving behaviour and we come to feel it is ‘normal’ or ‘the only way’ or even the ‘right way’ I am suggesting there is another way (God’s Way of Love) and that we can start right now, with a first step being by simply practicing and treating others as we would like to be treated.

That means stop blaming others, including your children for your own personal pain. For example, stop getting angry at children and own your feelings as yours, find out why you are angry and what you are angry about. I guarantee that you you don’t enjoy people shouting at you, punishing you, condescending to you, controlling you, having double standards and telling you lies so why are we doing it to others, especially children. Children are honest with us, until they are taught otherwise, so why are we not honest with them?

I am noticing that how I was treated as a child is often how I treat children and it is only as I soften to the hurts within me that I am discovering that naturally and without effort I begin to treat our children and others more softly, acceptingly, compassionately. While I am hard and punishing with myself I am also hard and punishing with others.

I encourage you to explore your own behaviours and how you treat your children, I encourage you to be real and self reflective no matter how painful it feels and find out the truth of what you feel, feel it without harming others or yourself and your life will change if you are doing this sincerely. It is beautiful and a gift to both yourself, your children and those around you.

Give it a go, experiment, discover, explore ethics and see what you discover…

* For more information on Ethics and Morality go to the following link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mybby95f3vs

 ** I say ‘your’ children, though I would like to suggest that they do not belong to you at all, but are rather God’s children and your brothers and sisters. I find it helpful to think about this as I treat brothers and sisters very differently to children who I feel I ‘own’. Children are not property, though we have for many generations believed and told them they are. Children are not to be owned, enslaved, brought or sold. Rather children are a perfect gift born from desire and are the most amazing creation and perfect reflection of our soul condition, where we are at and the areas that we need to heal in love. They are a blessing and a gift and our only ‘job’ is to teach them about Love, God’s Truth and God’s Love, God Herself, and allow and enable them to discover for themselves…

***We harm children by mis-educating them about Love, Truth, God and not being truthful about so many subjects. Including not being truthful  about our own feelings and thoughts, creating addictions with children, demanding and expecting of them, inhibiting their freewill and not correcting unloving behaviours in a loving way.

Parents have a lot to answer for. I am also beginning to get glimpses though of what an incredible gift being a parent is and if we ‘parented’ more as God intended it would be friggen awesome all round – that is what I aspire to and get excited about! Children are a gift and a very fast way to learn about love, if you are willing and have a sincere desire to love, in a real way.

Re-Visit

I have been having some disillusionment and doubts come up today. I revisited a post Mary Magdalene wrote some time ago and have found it so helpful in actions I can take to get me closer to what it is underneath rather than stewing in it. The Padgett Message also posted today is really helpful also if feeling ‘stuck’.

Thought I would let you know about. If you have a desire to check it our or re-visit it,
Click on the link below:

http://mary.divinetruth.com/2013/03/20/moving-through-the-four-ds-the-great-experiment-series/

A Great Padgett Message


12 Jan 1915

Helen: Confirms writing and is a go-between for Taggart and Harvey.


I am here, Helen:

You must not write to these spirits as we have told you – Yes he said that he knew you on earth and wanted you to help him. I see that he has gone to seek Mr. Taggart, but I don’t think that he will be much helped. Yes you may be right, you certainly have a way of accomplishing things. I never thought of that. Well, I will go and see if I can find them, and make them come here, and write you what I hear.

They are here:

Mr. Taggart tells Mr. Harvey that you told him that the way to get out of this condition of darkness and unhappiness is to pray to God, for His Love to enter into their hearts, and believe that it will, that if he will only be willing to have it come into their hearts, it will, but that he has not yet been able to believe. But Mr. Harvey says, that when he was on earth, he was a strict Catholic and that he often prayed something like that and attended to his duties, and even when he made his will, he left some money for the priests to pray him out of purgatory, but all their prayers together have not helped him, and he don’t believe that there is any God to whom a person can pray and from whom he can get relief – so that when you talked that way to Taggart, you were merely trying to mislead him as the priests did him. But Mr. Taggart says: George you are wrong there, for our friend does not merely say pray, but he prays with us and for us and seems to believe with all his heart that there is a God and that he will answer prayer. So I am not so certain that there is not a God and one who answers prayers, I am going to try to pray and believe myself and I advise you to do likewise.

Mr. Harvey says:

Taggart it is all nonsense, and if that is the only way we can get out of this condition, we never will be any better than we now are – so you need not tell me of God and prayer.

Mr. Taggart says:

George, I have seen the effect of this prayer on some spirits and I know that they have been made more beautiful and happy, and even Mackay is commencing to say that he sees light ahead and has felt some strange influences come into his heart as he said a prayer, which he promised our friend to say. Now what is the use in your being pig headed and say that there is no God, when you don’t know anything about it. I tell you though, there must be something in this belief or I would not see so many happy spirits around us. Be a man who can keep his mind open to what he sees and the reasons therefore may come to you. Let us not become hardheaded in this matter. As you were so easy to believe on earth what your priests told you about purgatory and the hells and the necessity for you to pay for prayers to help you out of purgatory, why can’t you try to believe a little when the same thing is told you without your having to pay for it? I am going to try my best to believe and if you know what is best for you, you will follow suit.

Mr. Harvey, says:

Taggart, what is the use of being fooled twice, once is enough for me. Priests are here with me and suffering more than I am, and when I ask them why don’t they pray themselves out of purgatory, they say: “To hell with prayer.” Now how am I to believe anything that is told me about prayer or God?

Mr. Taggart says:

George, Let your priests and their sufferings and their cursings pass out of your mind, and listen to me for a moment. When I came over, I was in great darkness and despair, and believed that there was no possible help for me and that I must remain in the condition of darkness that I found myself in, but one day I was called to meet our friend by his father, and when I came where he was I found that Mackay was there also, and then we exchanged greetings, and wished each other happiness. But I found that there was no happiness for me and I told our friend that I was anything but happy; and he said believe in God’s Love and you will soon be, and I said, who is God and what is His Love; and then he explained to Mackay what that love is, and I heard it all; and then I tackled him and told him that God was a myth and prayer was nothing but the wish of a man and went no higher than his mind.

But he would not agree with me and we had an argument right then and there, and I tell you that while he did not convince me that there was a God or any efficacy in prayer, yet it made me think and wonder if I could be wrong and he right; and before I left him, not only Mackay, but myself promised that we would try an experiment in the nature of prayer and we have been doing it many times since, and I tell you, that while I am not yet convinced that there is a God, or that prayer to Him will take us out of our awful conditions of suffering and darkness, yet I have felt many strange sensations, and at times, some little feeling of happiness, which I had never felt before; so you can see, I would be a fool not to try and get this relief, if I possibly can. And I want to tell you George, that if you are willing to make the effort with us we will be glad to have you come. Of course you need not believe if you don’t want to, but just come and join with us in our experiment and you will soon realize that there is something operating that you cannot account for. Mackay is now feeling very much happier he says; and I believe that he will soon believe in this God and his love that our friend told us about; at any rate he is commencing to improve in his appearance, and I attribute it to trying the experiment I told you of. So what is the use in holding back and saying that there is no God and no love that can get you out of your condition of which you complain so much, when by the exercise of a little reason and will, you may be on the right track to salvation. Of course I don’t know just what this may lead to, but I have determined to follow it to a conclusion, and you will be a big fool if you don’t go with me.

Mr. Harvey said:

Taggart, you were a pretty level-headed man when on earth, and required to have things proved to you, and were really a stubborn man as I know, and what you say impresses me; but you will have to show me what you mean by this experiment. You have not told me what you mean, and of course, until you do, I can’t follow you.

Mr. Taggart says:

George, it is a very simple thing. Mackay and I told our friend that we did not believe in God or in his love or in any saviour, and he said; you need not, to do what I want you to try. He said, while there is a God and His love which is the only thing that can save you from sin and make you happy men, yet that God does not force that love on you or make you believe in Him; and only when you are willing to receive that love of your own volition will it come to you. So you see he said it all depends upon your own will, whether you will have that love and the happiness which flows from it or not, and if you will only will that you may believe in God if there be one, and that you may receive that love if such there be, then if you will, will this and say to God, if there be one, that you will that this love shall come into your heart and that this belief shall come into your mind, and repeat this with all earnestness and will, you will find that after a little while, this belief will come to you, and this love will come into your heart. So Mackay and I are desiring to try anything to get out of our condition, and believing that our friend would not intentionally deceive us, promised to say these things, and in that way pray to a God that we did not believe in; and we have continued to repeat these thoughts ever since; and I must confess to you that some strange change or sensation has come to me. What it is, I don’t just know, but it is there; and I am determined to continue in this qualified prayer, until I know one way or the other what the result will be. So you see, George, if it does no good, it can do no harm, and if you have desire enough to get out of your condition, you will try the experiment.

Mr. Harvey says:

Well Taggart, there may be something in what you say and I am willing to go with you; for as you say, if it does no good, it can do no harm. So let me hear again what I am to say and I will commence.

Then Mr. Taggart repeated the prayer and they left.

You are too wonderful in your way of getting the attention of spirits who are in darkness to turn their thoughts to things that may help them. And I am so glad that you are helping these spirits, even though you did let Mr. Harvey write. But who knows, maybe such interferences are intended for some good purposes.

So my darling, I love you with all my heart and soul, and must stop writing.

Yes, I will, and will try to talk to him sometime when the proper occasion comes.

So goodnight, my own darling Ned.

HELEN

Note: References message from Harvey (PJE19150112B).

Index: PJE19150112C
Author: Helen Padgett/Taggart/Harvey
Receiver: James E. Padgett
Location: Washington D.C.
Date: 12 Jan 1915
Sources: True Gospel, Vol IV, page 244