I feel this is a beautiful quality that often gets a bad wrap.
I have noticed how often I have heard people being condemned for being emotionally ‘soft’, seen as ‘weak’. How often I/we have been praised for being emotionally ‘strong’ and opinionated (read not feeling my real feelings, numb, not expressing real feelings, stoic, etc). I notice that in Australasian Culture there are many sayings such as ‘go hard or go home’, ‘no pain, no gain’, ‘don’t be a pussy’ (I either think of vagina’s or fluffy cats), ‘toughen up’, ‘tough love’, ‘harden up, go drink a glass of concrete’, ‘don’t be a girl’ (I am one so this has always been a bit disconcerting as it has always felt like there is something wrong with me and half the world’s population)… There are so many and in the past I have either tried really hard to live up to these to gain approval or I have rebelled and been angry about it to avoid feeling the grief, sadness, loss and lack of emotional softness in my environment and self. If I am honest with myself I am really sad about the fact that ‘softness’ and being ‘soft’ is so crapped upon.
I have had some events in my life over the past year that have highlighted just what it feels like to be around people who are ‘hard’ and also had feedback on what it feels like to be on the receiving end of ‘hardness’. I actually allowed myself to FEEL what it feels like.  It doesn’t feel good, often accompanied with judgement and a lack of compassion, lack of understanding and absence of love.
I was brought up in a house of ‘strong’ women. I was brought up in a place where harshness was ‘normal’. I didn’t even realise just how harsh and hard my environment was until recently.
I have locked my heart up and been hard hearted. I am beginning to feel the heart of stone that I have in my chest and am beginning to wonder what a heart of flesh would feel like.
A soft, supple, compassionate, real loving, Open heart.
That, I feel, could be beautiful!
So I just wanted to ‘talk’ with you and mention that it is worth softening, to grow the desire to soften: to be softer with self, others, God, my emotions, all the experiences that are within me, it helps. 
In my experience:
Being hard hurts, me and others
Being hard puts up walls and creates barriers
Emotional hardness creates separation
Emotional hardness creates judgment
Emotional hardness comes from repressed fear and rage,
Emotional hardness causes pain and isolation
Emotional hardness creates a jail that you convince yourself is a ‘safe’ place when in fact it is dangerous, you can’t feel when you are hard, not even yourself.
I feel I have softened a little, beginning with intellectual decision and sincere prayer which has ended up with changes in my heart. It was just a gradual thing that happened and I could actually feel some compassion I reckon for the first time around some issues. It has been through being treated badly and with hardness – feeling this – and having attracted genuine love and kindness into my life (feeling the comparison of these two feelings), that I have realised what it feels like to be around me when I am emotionally hard. I have seen in others what I am myself. It was confronting and a yucky feeling to own that I have been like that to others and I thought it was okay, ‘normal’ even. 
I have seen the effects it had on those who I met and treated harshly, it is not love. I have noticed that what we are exposed to as small children and in the environments we live becomes ‘normal’, no matter how harsh, scary and violent it is. I see that while we remain conditioned and holding onto these crazy so called ‘norms’ we cannot feel what love actually feels like, and we act out what we feel to be acceptable. The process of feeling how it really is has caused me to question a lot of things. I have often prayed for more sensitivity and as it comes I see the stark contrast between what I see as normal and what I am learning about God and God’s love and Way. 
I was writing to a friend the other day and have included some of my thoughts below from the email I sent as I feel they relate to this topic:
“I realise that when I am ‘hard’ and judgmental (read don’t want to feel or even own my fear, don’t want to feel my feelings and want to change others instead of myself) that instead of opening up an opportunity to heal it actually closes, shuts down and hinders healing or even realisations in self or another. I see how it is through owning my own feelings and lovingly or even just kindly talking to someone else about things noticed or felt that this can create an opportunity to heal. I see how fear creates such pain, judgement, criticism and distance between my soul and another soul (I also see how I have wanted this in an effort to feel ‘safe’. I don’t feel safe one little bit). 
I feel the lack of connection, pain and fear etc between women & women and women & men is a source of pain and sadness for many souls. The relationships we have had with our mothers and fathers, other women  growing up have not set ‘healthy’ or loving precedents of how to relate in love, or even be truly kind with others. For me I am terrified of judgement and generally avoid interactions where this might happen at all costs where possible or placate something chronic to get people to ‘like’ me and be nice to me, sad smile, or just throw fear or rage their way and project ‘don’t get angry at me, don’t make me feel afraid and I will do what you want’. I feel I have used this as an ‘excuse’ to avoid or treat others badly. I am realising this isn’t the basis for and doesn’t build true, beautiful, close, growing friendships. It is also not based on Truth as God sees it. 
I am starting to feel if we can actually heal each other with kindness and love rather than harsh words and critical gestures this would be a beautiful way forward. I don’t feel I am there yet, my old patterns and addictions come up often especially when I feel uncomfortable and afraid, but I can see now the effects of these states and the pain that both women and men are in (including me) is a result of the actions we each choose to take.
I am realising how much and how many people I push away due to fear.
It is exciting I reckon how change is possible. I have so often felt that no-one changes and no-one becomes different. I am loving how this belief is being challenged at the moment and I am being shown how change is possible and that unloving actions can be healed and even intention begins a desire to heal!”
I cannot say how beautiful it is in the soft moments and the contrast to emotional hardness is very noticeable! I wish you well with softening into what ever the Law of Attraction brings you to heal your soul and become at one with God!
* I am still grappling with being in a place of softness all the time on every issue, I am not there yet. I have gotten emotionally hard over the last weeks due to wanting to avoid my terrors and this is what has highlighted (or glaring showed up) the difference between softening and shutdown/emotional hardness.

Check It Out

Continuing the subject of being/staying present Mary has a fabulous post up and is going to do a series on “Operation ‘Get Present'”. I highly recommend taking a look if you are an out of body flyer.

Pete reckons that the amount of air points (if you got them) I would have received for being out of body would have sent us round the world many times over, smile.

Mary is going to do a series on ‘Getting Present’ over the coming months. I reckon it is great to learn from someone who has actually done what she is talking about so I have attached the link for your perusal if you so desire to check it out!

The Radical Benefits of Staying Present

N.B.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a couple of extra things I thought were helpful or have noticed and have added them in this morning (Monday 15 April) – like reminding myself of God’s Truth (even intellectually helps).

I have experienced for more than just a moment recently the benefits of staying ‘present’ or being in my body. This is a whole new experience and it is awesome, so (if you have a tendency to go out of body) I really want to encourage you to practice, pray and desire to stay present/in your body no matter what comes your way. Also to pray for and/or grow the desire for courage*. To practice courage to become courageous – this is my personal prayer at this time (especially when the fear come up which is still when I want to and do vacate).

The following are some of the things that happen when I am present, in my experience so far:

  • I want to know more about God and I actively go about finding that out for myself rather than wanting someone else to do it all for me
  • I actively go about a lot more things than when I am out of my body
  • I remind myself of God’s Truth about the situation (even intellectually helps, or with what I know in my heart at this time), and see how it differs to my feelings and thoughts and what’s happening in my life that is in error or painful
  • I enjoy meeting people and getting to know them
  • I enjoy the little souls in our care, they are SOOOOO fun
  • I enjoy my man
  • I like myself more 
  • I can identify places that need healing and refining within myself without as much judgement
  • I can distinguish my desire for self punishment more easily and not engage in it
  • God’s universe is SOOOO amazing and I see things that I have never seen before
  • I am excited about possibilities and even feel that feeling my own pain could be possible (The Truth: God has made me perfectly to feel all my personal pain and I am totally capable of doing so.)
  • I am more able to relate to people without judgement and criticism as I am not trying so hard to avoid all the darkness within myself
  • I make/take time to reflect 
  • I am more likely to take a little more time and space than I usually do if a feeling does come up (I still like to avoid feeling and be ‘busy’ instead – but when I am present I notice in the moment and go ‘okay, why do you want to be so busy about this Eloisa?’)
  • Life is so much better
  • I am not so worried about what the whole world thinks of me ALL the time and am less conscious of myself for moments
  • I am just not so worried period.
  • I genuinely laughed the other day and think I experienced a moment of joy

When I am present I am more able to feel when I am afraid and when I am wanting to live IN the fear.

When I am present the whole world looks different.


It is so much better and all I have done is choose (not sure how to explain that as I have realised that my heart and head desires don’t match up often and so when people talk about choosing, I often ‘think’ I have chosen one thing but it is proven that emotionally I have not done so. I will tell you more about this as I learn and understand it as at this time I can only say I have noticed that my head and heart do not match up).

The things I have done differently which I feel have helped me to stay Present:

  • Prayed more 
  • Reminded myself of God’s Truth or how God feels on the matter (this is mostly intellectual for me at the moment but it really helps to remind myself)
  • Asked God, amongst other things, to show me what is blocking me giving love to God and receiving love from God
  • Asked God to help me grow sincere desires (for the things I want to know about or am avoiding)
  • I remind myself I am a Celestial in training and that I am in a process of refinement
  • Asked more sincerely to know about who I really am
  • Been more honest with myself 
  • what I see in others I am seeing in myself, instead of judging it look at WHY I want to be that way or take unloving actions
  • Have drunk heaps more water**
  • Actually breathed. breathed into my tummy(diaphragmatic breathing)
  • made time and space to self reflect on issues that are coming through the Law of Attraction
  • Listened or Read Divine Truth even just a snippet on the loo each day
  • Read more information on subjects including: faith, love, truth, courage, connecting to God, wholeheartedness, the Padgett messages and stories of people with these qualities or at least exploring these qualities 
  • Asked for guidance as to what Divine Truth’s I would benefit from hearing or focused on listening to Jesus’ Seminars on topics I am feeling challenged by or that are coming up in the Law of Attraction
  • journaled and honestly answered the following questions (not my own)***:

1.What events are currently happening in my life that demonstrate I am out of harmony with God’s Love and how have I attracted these events to my life?
2.What emotions within me are triggered by these events and are those emotions in harmony
with Truth and Love?
3.Do I feel any emotional or physical pain? If so, what reasons within my beliefs,emotions, desires or passions could there be for my experiencing this pain?
4.How do I portray myself to others, am I being emotionally truthful and open?
5.Am I still doing things that God or a Celestial angel would not do?
6.How do I really feel inside, and what tools am I using to deny my feelings?
7.Have all my actions been moral and ethical? If not, what is the emotional cause for my being immoral or unethical?
I realise that you may already have heard this information and if so this will merely be a reminder (which I always find helpful and hope you do too, smile).
I just thought that as it has made such a difference just to stay in my body I would like to share things that I feel have helped me out a little.
I would also like to note that I do not stay in my body all the time yet and I am noticing that I still disappear when I feel frightened, or feel that I could be potentially be afraid, when topics I want to avoid, am in denial about or feel uncomfortable about are discussed like sex or family, and under other circumstances. 
Things that happen when I choose to not be present and out of body and or living in fear:
  • Chunks of my hair get chopped off and I don’t even notice
  • The children have heaps more accidents
  • I hurt myself more
  • I self punish 
  • I punish others
  • I can’t remember conversations, events, experiences
  • I feel disconnected and alone
  • The house is a mess in two minutes
  • The kids get more demanding and needy
  • The kids start literally hanging off me, pulling me, whinging at me non stop
  • I get really angry about ‘nothing’
  • I can no longer think, or feel
  • it gets dangerous for both me and the kids – physical harm, spirit influence, harmful actions from me towards the children
  • I loose the children in the supermarket and they scream to find me
  • I can’t feel the beautiful man in my life
  • I get self absorbed and selfish
  • I no longer want to talk to Pete about anything
  • I want to be angry at Pete
  • The kids hurt and attack each other or me more
  • Animals attack us and chase us
  • The kids fall over out of the blue like someone has just knocked them down
  • Sometimes I go numb and if it is really bad I want to curl up avoid the world and go back to the ‘soulbank’
  • And many many many more things could be added to this list
I suppose you could say that going out of body for me is intricately linked with my desire to avoid my fear and terror. 
I feel that staying in my body is so worth while. I feel that often I ‘practice’ doing so and reminding myself to do so but even that helps!
I encourage you to experiment and try it for yourself, or to grow a desire to do so! It is SO worth it!!
* Brene Brown on ‘Ordinary Courage’
** Mary has a great post on staying connected to your Guides and Guardians and the things she mentions also help to stay present in your body

*** These questions come from Jesus’ paper ‘Facing Personal Truth’