Furphies* are something I was introduced to some 6-7 years ago by my gorgeous man Pete. I thought he was making the word up at first and then I found out it meant rumour/gossip/ ‘lies or lying’/stretching or diminishing the truth depending on what you want others to believe or hear or telling untruths {bull s#@t*} – I have adopted the word in a big way as I think it sounds pretty cool. (It is Australian slang. Note about Australian slang, it has some pretty funny words and sayings in it and I still don’t really ‘get it’ so have to have the ‘joke’ explained to me quite a lot – actually come to think of it, most jokes I need to have explained as I don’t seem to ‘get them’).

Anyway the thing about furphies is that I have noticed how many I tell myself and then tell others attempting to convince them and myself I am telling the Truth and am a really Truthful person. What I see in myself is that actually I have not been true to myself, others or you often (if you have read this blog) I have wanted or momentarily felt something, blogged it and then not followed through to the cause of it and really made the heart changes. Or I have loved the thought and momentarily feeling and it has been there but not permanently.

I have blogged a bit about a few things that I felt I had ‘gotten’ or ‘understood’ but to be quite frank I have realised it is all a furphy. I have no real true experience in many areas what so ever. I have done a lot of talking, a lot of thinking and a lot of talking and thinking about experimenting and actually I have no idea really about how to go about the experiment as I am still writing it all down in my journal rather than trying it for myself and taking actions. (It is not quite true I have no idea about experimenting, it is just I haven’t really truly conducted the soul experiments – Yet).

So why i share this rather speilish speil. I was in a batch of bad self punishment for four days last week, totally high flying with my chocolate cake and everything around me as I sit typing looks like a bomb site (I would photograph it for you and stick it up here but my camera has broken and I feel pretty embarassed about how bad it gets). It felt terrible too for myself and everyone around me, bar the spirits who were laughing at me for doing what they wanted without any protest from myself what-so-ever.

During this very negative soul degrading time I was sitting on the loo**  reading Brene Brown’s ‘The Gift of Imperfection’ (I felt the title indicated the book was personally for me as one who feels they should*** be perfect NOW and I felt that I ought to find out what was good about being imperfect so that I might strive for perfection while accepting that I am imperfect right at this time in God’s view) and she was talking about play and fun. Now reading it I felt VERY uncomfortable! In fact I decided to almost skip the chapter. Then I reflected to myself ‘wow you have some big issues with play and fun’`. The thoughts have been sitting there all week and I was talking to a therapist and what does she come out and say to me? ‘Eloisa how much do you have fun? Do you play with your kids often? Do you schedule time with your man to just have fun and play?’

Well what do you know? I said ‘funny you mention that as I have been thinking about it quite a bit this week, I even looked up the institute of play‘ (thinking I could intellectually get some sort of play instructions and tips- hee hee). I just felt depressed about it to be honest and had the feeling that I didn’t want to play, I didn’t want to have fun, it was all a waste of time and I didn’t have a fun, joyful feelings in me what-so-ever, so what was the point? (Imagine a really pouty version of myself standing in a really fun-to-everybody-else-place stamping a little foot and saying, ‘fun, I don’t do fun, my life is not FUN, it is too serious, I am too bad to have fun, I can only have fun when – this, when-that…very grumpy little rumpled-stilt-skined type)  I can get pretty negative pretty fast about things.

So I gave up trying in my head. In fact I gave up thinking about it and then just like that, last night these really cheeky feelings started creeping in. I wanted to write things honestly but with some humour – because really they were quite funny in hindsight, I actually giggled and annoyed Pete by telling him jokes that were not funny. And I blogged a pretty hilarious comment on Mary’s blog that cracked her up (I was a bit shocked someone else found me amusing too) and cracked me up as I wrote it – but were true and what I have literally been doing. And suddenly it dawned on me that somewhere inside of me there might be a bit of funny-ness and that it could be a possibility in my personality and that I have been missing out somewhat BIG time on all the great feelings (I am not too excited as all the horrid feelings haven’t been released yet BUT I felt some HOPE which has not been there for what feels like a very long time). I have to say I am still feeling a bit shocked and scared it will disappear and I will be left all depressed again.

And here is what I realised. I don’t know how I got there or why it came up, I want to be able to ‘replicate’ it and ‘bring it on’ but I don’t actually feel feelings are actually like that now I am investigating my own feelings for myself. The only thing I can link to this is a few days ago when I was trying to make nice with my brother rather than be truthful I sat down on the couch and said:

‘Eloisa how do you really truly feel about this? how do you really, really feel inside of yourself, not what you think you should feel, not what others have told you you should feel or told you is the right way to feel, but what do you feel?’ And I felt it. I was angry, bitter, hateful, and then really… really… really… sad. And that was true. It still is – for now.

So I wrote how I really felt as lovingly as I could and it was like magic, the self punishment stopped and I was able to get a bit of perspective and then some hours later the fun bit of me came out and I hadn’t even ‘tried’ for anything. All I had been was real with myself and stopped telling myself the furphies about how great it all is, how well or not well I am doing, how dedicated I am and that it will all work out and what a fabulous relationship I have with my family – ‘cos the truth is I don’t have a relationship with them at all at this time and there is really no point in pretending I do as that is one big furphy!!

So to sum it all up, I am going to set my intention to get real about how I feel and catch those little, big, fat and thin, nasty and pretending to be nice furphies that I send flying about and examine them closely, find out about them and why I want them so bad in my life. Why I want the furphies instead of the Truths and see if a little bit of that cheeky, fun, funny part of myself can come and play again.

*I thought it was spelt pherfie, sounds like ‘fur – fee’ turns out to be officially

Furphy (Definition from Australian Dictionary link)

Also spelt, furfie: a false or an unreliable rumour or a yarn. [bull shit]

Just for interest (noun a rumor; Derived from the battle fields of World War I, where rumors seems to follow the water carts which were manufactured in Australia by the Furphy company. The US Navy term: “scuttlebutt” also defines a water keg as well as a rumor. Aboard ship was the water keg, where seamen would at times pass on the latest rumors and news amongst each other as they took time to refresh themselves with a drink. )

**I do a lot of reading on the loo as it is pretty much the only time I make for myself on some days.

*** the perfect I feel I should be is perfect for mum, dad, family and what they think I should be and my extremely critical inner judgemental self who thinks nothing I do never ever good enough (she doesn’t believe God loves her much or that God can help her out). I am more than a bit annoyed at what was created in me when I was a kid right now and am harbouring some dark emotions so feel I will leave that for some time in the future when I have actually done something about those and give you some helpful information in surrender and overwhelm.

Right now I can’t give you anything in any of those areas as I haven’t personally experienced them and I don’t think in my heart I even feel like they are such a good idea sometimes. (Imagine a very shrewed shrewish person sitting looking out of my head probably with pointy nose and glasses (looks like me but pointier nose and VERY studious and know-it-all-ee) saying, with a very elocuted accent ‘eloisa quite frankly I don’t think you need any overwhelm what so ever in your life, controlled, steady, just breathe, you are F-I-N-E…’ This is the unhelpful person I listen to often.

On the other side is this lovely gentle soft beautiful creature who lovingly and firmly reminds me, with a joke or two, and many loving smiles that I need to allow myself to be overwhelmed and surrender to all that comes up and allow it out and that way I will heal (she wholeheartedly believes in God, loves God and has God’s love in her soul so she actually KNOWS about it and is telling the Truth). She also tells me that I CAN receive God’s love and God DOES love me and all I need to do is grow some faith and pray much, much more and grow a true desire for God in my heart. It’s that simple anyone can do it!!! Absolutely anyone and that includes yours-truly – ME!

The Radical Benefits of Staying Present

N.B.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a couple of extra things I thought were helpful or have noticed and have added them in this morning (Monday 15 April) – like reminding myself of God’s Truth (even intellectually helps).

I have experienced for more than just a moment recently the benefits of staying ‘present’ or being in my body. This is a whole new experience and it is awesome, so (if you have a tendency to go out of body) I really want to encourage you to practice, pray and desire to stay present/in your body no matter what comes your way. Also to pray for and/or grow the desire for courage*. To practice courage to become courageous – this is my personal prayer at this time (especially when the fear come up which is still when I want to and do vacate).

The following are some of the things that happen when I am present, in my experience so far:

  • I want to know more about God and I actively go about finding that out for myself rather than wanting someone else to do it all for me
  • I actively go about a lot more things than when I am out of my body
  • I remind myself of God’s Truth about the situation (even intellectually helps, or with what I know in my heart at this time), and see how it differs to my feelings and thoughts and what’s happening in my life that is in error or painful
  • I enjoy meeting people and getting to know them
  • I enjoy the little souls in our care, they are SOOOOO fun
  • I enjoy my man
  • I like myself more 
  • I can identify places that need healing and refining within myself without as much judgement
  • I can distinguish my desire for self punishment more easily and not engage in it
  • God’s universe is SOOOO amazing and I see things that I have never seen before
  • I am excited about possibilities and even feel that feeling my own pain could be possible (The Truth: God has made me perfectly to feel all my personal pain and I am totally capable of doing so.)
  • I am more able to relate to people without judgement and criticism as I am not trying so hard to avoid all the darkness within myself
  • I make/take time to reflect 
  • I am more likely to take a little more time and space than I usually do if a feeling does come up (I still like to avoid feeling and be ‘busy’ instead – but when I am present I notice in the moment and go ‘okay, why do you want to be so busy about this Eloisa?’)
  • Life is so much better
  • I am not so worried about what the whole world thinks of me ALL the time and am less conscious of myself for moments
  • I am just not so worried period.
  • I genuinely laughed the other day and think I experienced a moment of joy

When I am present I am more able to feel when I am afraid and when I am wanting to live IN the fear.

When I am present the whole world looks different.


It is so much better and all I have done is choose (not sure how to explain that as I have realised that my heart and head desires don’t match up often and so when people talk about choosing, I often ‘think’ I have chosen one thing but it is proven that emotionally I have not done so. I will tell you more about this as I learn and understand it as at this time I can only say I have noticed that my head and heart do not match up).

The things I have done differently which I feel have helped me to stay Present:

  • Prayed more 
  • Reminded myself of God’s Truth or how God feels on the matter (this is mostly intellectual for me at the moment but it really helps to remind myself)
  • Asked God, amongst other things, to show me what is blocking me giving love to God and receiving love from God
  • Asked God to help me grow sincere desires (for the things I want to know about or am avoiding)
  • I remind myself I am a Celestial in training and that I am in a process of refinement
  • Asked more sincerely to know about who I really am
  • Been more honest with myself 
  • what I see in others I am seeing in myself, instead of judging it look at WHY I want to be that way or take unloving actions
  • Have drunk heaps more water**
  • Actually breathed. breathed into my tummy(diaphragmatic breathing)
  • made time and space to self reflect on issues that are coming through the Law of Attraction
  • Listened or Read Divine Truth even just a snippet on the loo each day
  • Read more information on subjects including: faith, love, truth, courage, connecting to God, wholeheartedness, the Padgett messages and stories of people with these qualities or at least exploring these qualities 
  • Asked for guidance as to what Divine Truth’s I would benefit from hearing or focused on listening to Jesus’ Seminars on topics I am feeling challenged by or that are coming up in the Law of Attraction
  • journaled and honestly answered the following questions (not my own)***:

1.What events are currently happening in my life that demonstrate I am out of harmony with God’s Love and how have I attracted these events to my life?
2.What emotions within me are triggered by these events and are those emotions in harmony
with Truth and Love?
3.Do I feel any emotional or physical pain? If so, what reasons within my beliefs,emotions, desires or passions could there be for my experiencing this pain?
4.How do I portray myself to others, am I being emotionally truthful and open?
5.Am I still doing things that God or a Celestial angel would not do?
6.How do I really feel inside, and what tools am I using to deny my feelings?
7.Have all my actions been moral and ethical? If not, what is the emotional cause for my being immoral or unethical?
I realise that you may already have heard this information and if so this will merely be a reminder (which I always find helpful and hope you do too, smile).
I just thought that as it has made such a difference just to stay in my body I would like to share things that I feel have helped me out a little.
I would also like to note that I do not stay in my body all the time yet and I am noticing that I still disappear when I feel frightened, or feel that I could be potentially be afraid, when topics I want to avoid, am in denial about or feel uncomfortable about are discussed like sex or family, and under other circumstances. 
Things that happen when I choose to not be present and out of body and or living in fear:
  • Chunks of my hair get chopped off and I don’t even notice
  • The children have heaps more accidents
  • I hurt myself more
  • I self punish 
  • I punish others
  • I can’t remember conversations, events, experiences
  • I feel disconnected and alone
  • The house is a mess in two minutes
  • The kids get more demanding and needy
  • The kids start literally hanging off me, pulling me, whinging at me non stop
  • I get really angry about ‘nothing’
  • I can no longer think, or feel
  • it gets dangerous for both me and the kids – physical harm, spirit influence, harmful actions from me towards the children
  • I loose the children in the supermarket and they scream to find me
  • I can’t feel the beautiful man in my life
  • I get self absorbed and selfish
  • I no longer want to talk to Pete about anything
  • I want to be angry at Pete
  • The kids hurt and attack each other or me more
  • Animals attack us and chase us
  • The kids fall over out of the blue like someone has just knocked them down
  • Sometimes I go numb and if it is really bad I want to curl up avoid the world and go back to the ‘soulbank’
  • And many many many more things could be added to this list
I suppose you could say that going out of body for me is intricately linked with my desire to avoid my fear and terror. 
I feel that staying in my body is so worth while. I feel that often I ‘practice’ doing so and reminding myself to do so but even that helps!
I encourage you to experiment and try it for yourself, or to grow a desire to do so! It is SO worth it!!
* Brene Brown on ‘Ordinary Courage’
** Mary has a great post on staying connected to your Guides and Guardians and the things she mentions also help to stay present in your body

*** These questions come from Jesus’ paper ‘Facing Personal Truth’