To Be Real…

Dare to be real and authentic as I am! ‘Mustering’ courage to look at what is real and true. Try it, experiment… Who is the ‘real’ me. Who am I when I am not hiding or fabricating myself. Reveal the truth to myself without judgement, without ridicule, just as it is in this moment now…
Looking to others to find myself, looking to others to find answers, looking to others to define myself, looking to others to know who I am etc.etc, I am finding disappointing, confusing, un-helpful and taking me further away from me.  To truly know myself all of me and every little bit, I need to be willing to trust myself, be myself and look inside myself (God can help me and be with me in this process as she knows everything about me and much more. I am not alone – ever, smile, (the choice to be so is mine)).
A good place to start:  look in the mirror to find what is really there, as it is now…feel that as I discover it… Then the discovery of what is possible can begin and I can grow and flourish abundantly with God guiding me…That sounds pretty beautiful… what is the possibility of me? What is my potential? How does God see me? What is my true condition as God sees it NOW? What does God see my potential as? What will I be like, feel like, look like when I am perfect? (Wow! endless wonderings here!) What stands between me and God? what stands between me and God’s version of perfection?

‘Soapbox’ Drama

I feel frustrated at times about the reoccurring issues that arise in my life and I have been told often and finally am coming to the conclusion that really nothing is going to change until I release the cause of these things*. I feel like I am perpetually focused on the effects and dealing with those, which I call the ‘soapbox drama’ in order to avoid the ‘real (causal) drama’.


I prefer to remain caught up and exhausted by the effects I create and not dealing with the cause. 
The more that I discover the story of my life, images, memories, feelings, events, and (sometimes) feel them, more often at the moment just own them, I realise that the less ‘soapbox’ I need. There is ‘drama’ enough in my life without needing to create more. 

Dear God,

May I have the courage to delve into the ‘real drama’ to feel what entered me as a child and to release it ‘as a child’ would, rather than holding onto the cause and allowing it to continually create painful effects that cause more pain and damage to others.

Love Eloisa

*It is not due to not trying to change things and make them different. I have tried and it isn’t working – much to my chagrin. It is through the constant experience of having the same issues keep coming up, the same Law of Attraction revealing itself, in many different ways – incase I didn’t understand the last one that showed up – that I am coming to the conclusion that there has to still be the same emotion/s in me to cause the same outcome. And doing the same thing over and over again is beginning to be quite tiring as there is no change. So something I figure needs to be done differently. It also makes sense that due to the same thing happening that I have not dealt with what is creating it, the cause, otherwise I am suspecting it could/would be very different. Hmmm something to act about here.