Written by Peter

Today my morning was spent classing, drenching, foot trimming and drafting a mob of sheep into three new mobs. By lunch one of the classed mobs had been mixed up with the ones still needing to be processed.

Did I get angry……Yes, but not with the guy moving the sheep or the spirits lending a hand. I was angry with me and why I have to do everything, be responsible for everything and then the icing on the cake was my self worth. How quickly we can go from anger and self punishment to the real emotions.

In the past I would always blame the guy who made the mistake. This time it was clear.

If it negatively affects me in any way, then yes I have some injury or block that is part of the cause.

What stops me is when I am not prepared to look at myself. It is always so easy to look at others and what is going on for them.

When I am humble I am open to looking at myself and whats going on for me. How can you really feel without being humble?

So Dear God

Thank you for showing me my blocks today, for giving me the help I needed to open up to my Soul and feel just a little bit more……Thank You for your Love

With Love and Gratitude
Peter

About a week ago we were talking to our guides and they gave me two beautiful images to portray what my soul was like at the moment.


The first was a Heart with arteries and blood vessels (which did creep me out a bit as an emotion in me still recoils to the thought of a lot of pumping, gushing blood, and the second was of a tree. Both in essence represent the same thing.

The heart or the trunk of the tree is my soul. The arteries or big branches are my causal emotions and the blood vessels or the twigs are all the blocks that I have to seeing the branches (causal emotions). Then on top of that are the leaves or the blood flowing about and that is the facades we create to hide our True Selves.


I liked the tree image as I could imagine my facade or fabricated self changing with the season, different coloured leaves for each period of my life or season. Facades I had created to fit in or avoid feeling the deep loneliness, lack of love and other emotions that felt, and still feel too painful to contemplate at times.

Now my soul has winter bare branches as I begin to realise what is truly beneath the facades I worked so hard to create. I am getting tired of the facade, in fact exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to pretend all the time, to keep up appearances, be the girl I feel everyone wants me to be. The Truth is a relief. It is like a breath of fresh air on a stagnant day. I can’t say I love feeling the feelings that are coming up yet, but it has become a relief to actually feel how I FEEL and know it is real and not what I think I should be feeling or what someone else said I ought to feel. With God’s help I am more willing to see the twigs (blocks), Branches (causal emotions) and trunk (my soul) of the tree. 

As well as having branches and twigs, I also have roots with little shoots of roots coming off them. The roots are all the causal emotions and the little shooty bits coming off are the blocks, and that is all UNDERGROUND. That to me represents all the raw, ugly, stinky, ‘un-mentionable’ emotions that I
really want to avoid and do not want to see at all. I want to hide them under tons and tons and tons of earth and make those roots reach soooo far down that no-one, not even I can see or remember them, hopefully ever, that is how ashamed and in denial I am. 

What I am realising though (and feeling more and more) is that there is someone who does see them, who knows every part of me and every single thing I desire – loving or unloving – and that is my True Parent and Creator – God. Because I have hidden from, and avoided my True Self for so long, I am now having to ask for help to unearth some of those roots. 


‘God, please help me here, you know me so much better than I know myself at the moment, you feel me and feel all that I am, EVERY SINGLE BIT. Please, please, please help me to feel how I felt when I was the little me, help me see myself as you see me, help me feel who I truly am now on a soul level! God show me the good, the bad and the ugly bits and please can I have the courage to feel what ever I feel and not judge it or attempt to make it different or better than it truly is!’


With so much Gratitude to God and the Celestial Guides on the Divine Love Path!! God truly has created a perfect, beautiful and amazing system/process for us to be at one with her!


With more desire to grow in love


Eloisa 

 Written By Peter Lytton-Hitchins

God …

 

Nearly everyone on the planet has an opinion, thought or feeling when this one word is mentioned.

 

A traditional schooling and New Age parents meant the young child in me dismissed God from a very early age. Natural love, Peace and an Indian Avatar were my mainstay. If in trouble or needing help very rarely did God get a foot in the door.

 

So now in my 36^th year for the first time God is now taking centre stage. How does one have God as our mainstay, our leader, our real companion and “best friend”. My desire is to share our journey from self dependence/reliance to the ultimate place of God reliance. In such a place real truth, humility and pure love would be always present. Addictions and injuries will have gone, fear and terror will have melted away and passions and desires would be plentiful.

 

So Dear God; I desire to be humble and open to feeling and experiencing your love and connect to the real me.  I desire to emotionally connect to my Soul and Soulmate. To be vulnerable and trusting; emotionally open to processing my injuries and blocks; living in my passions and desires.

 

Love and Gratitude

 

Peter

Help us to Truthfully share some of our emotions and experiences while growing in love for You, God. 


Nervous, afraid, unworthy, exposed, inadequate. These are the feelings that are at the top of a mountain of feelings for me beginning this blog. I have felt judgemental at times of ‘bolggers’ and wondered how anyone would have time to actually read what is written and who would want to anyway?
 
Recently those judgements have been turned on their head and I realise that it is my own fears and inadequacies that I am projecting onto others and then judging. It is actually me who feels that no one would want to spend time on me or read what I have experienced. And maybe they don’t and wont.


Over the last few months I have become one of ‘those blog readers’ that I judged. There are a couple of blogs that I wait for because they are such gifts. 


This blog is a beginning for me, to open my true self to the world and share that as it unravels and unfolds. I don’t even know who my true self is yet, I am coming to terms with the Truth of what is held emotionally in my Soul and what I have yet to emotionally realise and release. I am beginning to FEEL and not intellectualise, justify or minimise (and many more avoidance adjectives that can go along with these too). I am beginning to TRULY want God and to feel the Love God has for me and to grow my love for God. I am beginning to want God and to have a relationship with God. In growing my desire for God I am also growing my desire for myself- my whole self, both halves of this one soul-, to actually know who I am at a soul level. Not just the ‘good’ bits or the nice, pretty bits, as I judge them. But the raw, wounded, ugly, stinky bits too. 


So this is the beginning…


Love Eloisa