Poem: Gap Filler

I’m like putty or ‘no more gaps’
The products sold to fill in holes

I fill the gaps
I plug the holes
Bits of me are everywhere

I am a filler
I mold
Inflate
Absorb

Try to take up the space
Pick up the slack
Fill the gaps
Consistently

My addiction to fill the gaps (when not acted upon) exposes all the cracks
The lack of education
The areas of lapse

All the unfilled areas I want to fill them up
I want to be the gap filler
To be ‘needed’ & ‘on hand’
That useful tube of me at the ready to fill in and make the gaps disappear or at least smaller

Filling gaps is temporary
Does not provide long term solution
Without education and the knowledge of how to fill your own gaps,
You will always be reliant addictively on a ‘mummy’ or a ‘daddy’ figure

So now to unfill, unstick and expose,
And then this family will see what it knows,
The unloving constructions will crumble and fall,
From the rubble you will each build your own creations,

Fill your own gaps one by one (or not).
Maybe you will choose to keep the gaps,
Live a breezy existance with no fillers,
Either way it will be your choice,

You will learn those gaps that are yours
And how to fill them
Or what you do to seek to avoid them.

I must step back no more filling the gaps,
Face the facts and find the reasons in me why I have a compulsion to be the putty,
the gap filler,
the needed tube ‘on hand’
that prevents the chips falling where they may.
What is the feeling that drives this addiction in me?

No more holes being filled by me,
The spaces left open so you are free
To see the results of the choices you make,
Independent, self-responsible you don’t need me to fill in the gaps.

Eloisa, 2 February 2021, 12.48pm