I was afraid to say what I felt about you, me, about us, to express myself

I resisted, held back, kept my lips tightly shut so no words came out

I thought not saying anything would cause less trouble

That to not speak up I would gain your approval, you would see I didn’t feel badly towards you

But to keep quiet, say nothing contributes to you and others to believe you are justified in the feelings you have about me and that the lies you spread are ‘right’.

I thought it would all blow over

But I have lessons to learn on self expression, and being myself

To share my feelings, my thoughts, my experiences, this is part if my soul experience

This is the part you rejected

And when I remain quiet that is my silent agreement

But no more can I do this, no more will I be silent

I will say what I say, be what I be and let all of the chips fall where they may

Eloisa, 17 January 2021, 4:15am