Parenting Experiment

***This post was updated on the 2nd September 2017, to be more transparent about some of the emotional dynamics being played out within the family


Introduction

The following is post is about two experiments I was involved in.

The first experiment was a family experiment between Pete and myself.

The second was a parenting experiment to discover the addictions I have created between myself and the kids, and to challenge addictions in myself and the children during the month.

Following you will find:

  1. A brief reflection of the family experiment
  2. An outline of the parenting experiment including some benefits, the details of what, who, where, when and why. Some of my personal reflections & learning during the experiment and a summary of where I am heading next.

After the “official” experiments ended I decided to continuing them as the first month I only began to become a little more aware of what is really going on in the family dynamic, I have yet to emotionally work through the causal reasons why our family is like it currently is.


Background and Reflections on the family experiment

Tristan, Pete and I began a family experiment in June as suggested by Jesus & Mary for the God’s Way of Education Project. I have written a previous blog post on this experiment click here to view.

The purpose of the family experiment was for the adults in the family to become more aware of the unloving family dynamics between themselves and how this impacts their intimate relationship and relationship with the children. Part of the purpose was to document the entire experiment, including the process, events, feelings and experiences for each person involved for God’s Way of Education Project.

After completing the family experiment I felt that I wanted to continue what had been started with Pete as I was seeing and feeling the benefits of what Tris and Jesus and Mary had been helping us with in our relationship.

I noticed the month after the family experiment was a really important one for me to continue to uphold a loving, truthful environment without having someone else to help me do that.

During the family experiment and the following month it felt confronting and emotional (when I allowed it) learning the reality and interplay between myself and Pete. Even now I find it challenging. I don’t always remain loving and firm (sometimes I just feel angry and want it all to end and someone else do the loving thing). Fortunately those times pass and I am realising that this is an opportunity for me to learn to uphold love and truth in every circumstance including with partner and children, I don’t feel very consistent with this yet.

Due to having outside perspectives to highlight issues in our relationship and feeling a little bit during this process I have began to recognise the emotionally abusive behaviour that I am open to from my childhood and how Pete is actually currently perpetuating that in our relationship. I have yet to allow the full feeling of it. I have begun to recognise the manipulative techniques that I used to think were “normal” and how Pete and the kids use these to undermine and pull me and others down to gain power and feel superior. I still allow bad treatment of myself and recognising the sin in both superiority and inferiority & allowing and perpetuating unloving behaviour is an ongoing process for me.

I recognised during the experiment that I want others to stand up and take action when people are unloving or will potentially or overtly be violent and angry and or attacking. For me the quality of courage needs to be developed and some ‘backbone’ grown so I am the person who stands up and takes the loving action. The best place to start is taking action in my relationship with Pete.


Parenting Experiment

I decided to begin another experiment along with continuing the relationship experiment where I had the children live with me solo for a month.

I did this with the intention of challenging the addictions in the kids as a means to help me work through the emotions in myself as to why I created those in the first place.

Ironically I didn’t always end up challenging the kids addictions, but I definitely learned a lot about how I felt and what I want addictively from the kids in particular, but also from others in general.


Following is a breakdown of what occurred

Benefits:

  • Feeling the reality of where our family is at
  • Getting real with where I am at right now
  • Discovering God’s Laws and how God feels about what is going on
  • Recognising sin and where I am currently resistive to seeing & feeling
  • Becoming aware of the real issues rather than remaining “blind” to them
  • Challenge addictions and co-dependence in relationships
  • Recognising that there is a problem in what I have been defining as “normal” within the family
  • To gain education on what truly loving interactions between intimate partners feels like
  • To gain education on what truly loving relationships between children and parents feels like from God’s perspective
  • Feeling how I really feel and why I do what I do so I can change it
  • To recognise, encourage and allow personal emotional experience
  • Sharing the experiment with others who may be interested
  • Because there was desire and motivation for the idea and I wanted to give it a go

Who:

Participants: Eloisa and 3 kids

Informal guidance and mentoring from Tris, Jesus & Mary

When:

The experiment began on the 15th of August and went till 10th of September 2017

Where:

Eloisa’s home, Queensland Australia

What:

Primary goal and aspiration:

  • Experiment for parents who desire to challenge their own addictions and re-educate children about Love and Truth from God’s perspective.
  • Parent to uphold Love and truth in every interaction, beginning with the ones they recognise and become sensitive to those they are not recognising.
  • To enforce ethics, morality and loving consequences and restrictions when Love and Truth is not upheld both for the parent themselves and for the children.

What it ended up being about:

I discovered that I have a lot of work to do as I need to be educated before I can actually educate others. Thus the experiment was more about me becoming aware of how out of harmony with Love and Truth I am and why.

It was an opportunity for me to feel about what it is really like in our family, the addictions I have created, how the children treat me is because I have allowed them to treat me that way and how I interact with the children is about my choices and decisions. How the children’s demands were about me wanting to avoid my own personal emotions (they became MORE demanding and needy of me when I wanted to avoid feeling terror, fear and sadness).

Parent to document and log:

  • every incident out of harmony with love,
  • the emotions that were exposed in all parties (if known, or just in self if not known)
  • the consequences enforced
  • the feelings exposed in enforcing consequences
  • emotional addictions in parent
  • emotional addictions in children

Why:

  • To challenge issues within myself and personally recognise addictions in myself and what I want them
  • To challenge my lack of action as that seems to be the thing that brings up my emotions the most
  • To highlight issues in myself that contribute to the current family culture that I am currently skipping over, find out what I am skipping over and the emotional reasons why I am skipping over it
  • To uphold a space of love and truth with both partner and children
  • Parent to recognise how their addictions, emotional injuries and belief systems impact the family dynamic, specifically the children and how the parent has the ability to change the family culture
  • Parent to recognise they are responsible and have an obligation to change the family dynamic in a loving direction
  • To bring up the emotions in the parent and the parent to sincerely work through those emotions and enforce love and truth in themselves
  • To recognise what is going on and what in the parent is causing the behaviour
  • To work through the issue in the parent that is causing the behaviour
  • Parents to recognise they initially created the causes of children reflecting and acting out unloving addictions, demands and expectations and it is the parents responsibility to re-educate children based on love (once the parents are educated and uphold love this becomes far easier to do.)
  • Note: if emotional process is engaged by parents and then love and truth is upheld in the family environment it is very easy for children to change.
  • To challenge the addictions in the children that have been allowed, encouraged and actively created

Experiment and reflections from Eloisa’s perspective

I feel this was the beginning of the experiment rather than the completion.

Though the family experiment, was challenging I have chosen to continue it because I have growing faith in the process and though it feels like our family is disintegrating I am also feeling better in myself and noticing slight positive change in some areas. I feel unhappy, but it is real and more reflective of where I am currently at. Though I am still very afraid of standing up to angry men in my life when I do I feel better about myself and it highlights the terror I have within me. I am coming to actually accept that allowing unloving treatment of myself is wrong. Abusers are responsible for their actions, but I am an adult now and I can say “no this is not okay with me”.

I am finding it challenging to uphold love towards myself when my partner manipulates and emotionally abuses me. I find it challenging to stand up every time with the kids in every situation for love and Truth. The children have been trained by us (the parents) and are now master manipulators. Due to Pete feeling that what he does is right and my allowance of his and others abusive treatment it means the children gain approval for remaining in addiction, feeling superior and treating others in an unloving manner.

I stress that the children are a product of Pete and my creation and it is both of our responsibility to work through the emotions in ourselves in order to actually deal with what is going on in the children. When there is allowance and overt approval for unloving and addictive behaviour a child will reflect that when that is all they have known. A child becomes attuned to their environment and insensitive to their conscience and other mechanisms that would help them feel what is ethical, moral, right and wrong.

In our family there is acceptance of treating myself badly from both parents, me and Pete. The kids are not going to change until the emotional allowance changes in me and the emotional justification changes in Pete, plus the external environment is a place where there is no option but to love and be truthful. When this dynamic happens then the children have the opportunity to easily feel through their emotion and undergo sincere change.

From my understanding, if only I change and actually stop allowing abusive behaviours towards myself and others and uphold a space of love and truth (this will partly improve how it currently is), the children will reflect this when they are with me. If Pete does not choose to change the children will still receive reinforcement for unloving behaviours from him and may not go through the emotional change necessary in order to truly change.

At this time Pete is resistive to seeing what is truly going on and how he is harming others. His desire for his addictions is currently far stronger than his desire to love and it is causing a lot of pain and harm within the family.

During the experiment emotion for myself has been exposed but has yet to be worked through. Please note there are areas for myself  where I have work to do also. I am just focusing on the biggest issue we are currently working on.

I have discovered that I have addictions with the kids and Pete. It is taking time to become emotionally aware of them. It is one thing to see addictions, another to work through them.

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2016 ELH

I learned:

  • The courage to address issues of love and truth in the moment is something to focus on far more
  • I have a lot of emotion I am not allowing to flow
  • I have been avoiding feeling the reality of the situation
  • I am terrified of angry, violent men
  • I am easily manipulated through fears and beliefs I have about myself
  • I found I really want my personal addictions, I  act them out compulsively particularly when I desire to avoid feeling emotion
  • I don’t want to recognise when people abuse me because I don’t want to cry and feel the pain of my childhood experiences
  • Dynamics with Pete and I are reflected by the kids
  • I have learned that if I allow any unloving or untruthful behaviour that I know to be unloving and untruthful there are always negative consequences
  • By the end of the experiment I was more aware of allowing manipulation to take place between the children and by the children towards myself
  • I was more aware of why I have allowed manipulation to take place towards myself from others
  • Researching why loving behaviour is not happening in the household and personally deal with the emotional reason why, and take action to change the behaviour is confronting, challenging and beneficial. I can see when I am on my own where I allow myself to “get away” with not dealing with the reasons why I do things emotionally
  • Emotions take time. It is one thing to have something pointed out to me, another to actually investigate, discover and feel the real feeling for myself. It is also very different taking actions myself and upholding love than having others around me do it
  • Feeling even a little bit of emotion (when I allow it) brings relief, insight and a different perspective on the situation
  • I am still finding out why I am so terrified and resistive to feeling all my emotions
  • Letting issues drag on and not resolving them causes pain and suffering as compensation for not dealing with them emotionally

My faith grows every time I stand up for what I know to be right and though in the moment I find it challenging, uncomfortable and sometimes desperately want to back down (which at times I still do) I find that truth always makes things better when I stand up for it and when I don’t I feel uncomfortable inside for not doing the right thing

I recommend this experiment to any family, it is not easy, it exposes all kinds of emotions and dynamics for all parties involved. There is conflict, confrontation and even nastiness when we lack humility. There are times when I go straight into addiction to avoid my fears and do exactly what I have always done. The thing is now I am aware I do this I can recognise why I am doing it and notice that every time I reinforce unloving behaviour to avoid my fears it actually feeds the abuser, and doesn’t change anything. Every time I take loving action things improve inside of me even if externally it doesn’t improve


Thanks

To Tris and Jesus and Mary for education, encouragement and pointing out my addictions and some of the underlying causes of why I behave as I do when I was not aware and when I didn’t want to do the loving thing!

Thank you for pointing things out in the moment as they were happening, this was so beneficial for me.

Where to now

  • Continue the experiments until they become our way of life and sincere change occurs in myself and I hope the family
  • Work on why I don’t let myself feel the reality, how sad, hurt, challenged, whatever comes up I truly feel
  • Modify the experiments when change is not occurring and add to it
  • Learn to allow all emotional experience
  • Work through any blocks to emotional experience
  • The most important part of the experiments is allowing time for feelings to be exposed, come up and be felt.
  • When emotions are not felt no real change occurs in the parent or the child
  • Document the process and emotions and situations that happen within our household

Until next time

Eloisa


God’s Way Education: Family Experiment Specialised Home stay

Reblogged from God’s Way Ltd

***This post was updated on the 2nd September 2017, to be more transparent about some of the emotional dynamics being played out within the family

Introduction

The following post includes a breakdown of the family experiment we undertook over a month, the purpose, aims and some benefits. It explains the who, what, where, when and why, some of our findings, personal feedback and participant reflections, followed by possibilities for the experiment and where we are headed now with the God’s Way of Education Programme and follow up experiments.


In June Jesus & Mary made an interesting suggestion about a “family experiment” for the God’s Way of Education Project.

The purpose of the experiment is for the adults in the family to become more aware of the unloving family dynamics between themselves and how this impacts their intimate relationship and relationship with the children. Part of the purpose was to document the entire experiment, including the process, events, feelings and experiences for each person involved for God’s Way of Education Project.

After some consideration and clarification (because initially we didn’t fully understand the implications, principles or what the project actually involved) Tristan, Pete & I, plus by default the kids, decided to go ahead and engage the experiment.

Pete and I felt somewhat nervous as we were warned it would be challenging, but the desire to engage the opportunity was greater and away we went.

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Following is a breakdown of what occurred

Purpose, Aims & Benefits:

  • Feeling the reality of where our family is at right now
  • Recognising where we are out of harmony with God’s Laws
  • Recognising sin we are currently resistive to seeing & feeling
  • Becoming aware of the real issues rather than remaining “blind” to them
  • Challenging addictions and co-dependence in relationships
  • Recognising that there is a problem in what we have been defining as “normal” within the family
  • Becoming happier, more truthful and loving people
  • Gaining an education on what truly loving interactions between intimate partners feels like from God’s perspective
  • Gaining an education on what truly loving relationships between children and parents feels like from God’s perspective
  • Recognising emotions and encouraging and allowing personal emotional experience
  • Making time for emotions. Making emotional expression the number one priority for personal change to occur
  • Gaining an education and training in how to conduct and partake in emotional experiments
  • Sharing the experiment with others who may be interested
  • Because there was desire and motivation for the idea and we wanted to give it a go, we also felt it would be a good experience for the God’s Way Education Project

Who:

Mentors: Jesus & Mary

Educator: Tristan

Participants: A family of 2 adults and 3 children (Eloisa, Pete & kids)

When:

The experiment began on the 17th of July and went till 14th of August 2017

Where:

Pete and Eloisa’s homes, Queensland Australia

What:

Specialised Home stay Experiment (Tris has come up with the idea of a specialised and general home stay, the specialised is defined below).

Specialised home stay: is for families where one parent is being consistently unloving in their intentions, attitudes, and actions to another the Educator conducts a specialised home stay to remedy this problem first.

Pete is currently treating Eloisa in an emotionally abusive, manipulative manner. This is the first issue that needs to be resolved as it will expose emotions in both parties that need to be worked through. The aim of the experiment is for both parties to see this dynamic and to work through the issues that allow it to continue.

The aim is to do this so that Eloisa and Peter can be together and have an equal relationship based on love and truth. We suspect their whole relationship is going to need to be deconstructed and built again.

Quote from Tristan’s blog that can be found at the following location: LINK


The Educator is to live day-to-day with a family for a month.

Over a month the Educator is to notice all unloving, unethical or immoral behaviours or intentions being engaged by anyone in the family. Each time the educator is to stop the family and tell them that they can no longer engage with each other until they sincerely and emotionally work out why they were stopped, what would be the loving thing to do, and then act on that loving behaviour.

If one family member was historically treated badly by the rest of the family members then the rules would be when that person is treated badly next then they would leave to go live in a neutral and comfortable location. Then the rest of the family works out how they had been unloving to that person and come to a sincere and emotional understanding of what would be the loving thing to do. When they have, then the first family member can come back and interact with the rest of the family. In the most resistive cases, this may take a large portion of the allotted experiment time.

All parties to write up journals or logs

Educator to write up parent report at the end of the month detailing the biggest issues and some ideas on what to do next.

Educator to then write up a procedure for others who might want to conduct or have their families be a part of a similar experiment.

This experiment will be a tool Educator may use for engaging with families that want to be a part of any “God’s Way” school in the future.


Why:

For many reasons, below are just a few

  • The lack of desire to love and resistance to change in one party is causing pain and suffering to others
  • The current dynamic is destroying the relationship
  • To highlight issues in the family culture that the adults/parents in the family are currently not recognising, or desiring to overlook due to addictive reasons.
  • Parents to recognise how their addictions, emotional injuries and belief systems impact the family dynamic, and how they have the ability to change the family culture.
  • Parents to recognise they initially created the causes of what the children are reflecting and acting out. They encouraged and allowed unloving addictions, demands and expectations and it is the parents responsibility to re-educate children based on love (once the parents are educated and uphold love this becomes far easier to do.)

Note: if emotional process is engaged by parents and then love and truth is upheld in the family environment it is very easy for children to change.


As Tris says:

The fact is parents and guardians are the most invested in how the family currently interacts. They are the main reason why their children enact unloving behaviours and intentions both in the home and out. However most, if not all, parents are unable to see this truth.

Often a parent is trying to correct a child’s behaviour when they themselves have taught them that behaviour through personal agreement with it (but only when it’s the parent doing it) or through encouragement [and or allowance] of that behaviour towards the parents. Either way the child will be unable to make emotional changes if the parents don’t.

I have seen children being completely unaware of their unloving intentions exactly as their parents with their own intentions.

This experiment brings in someone who is not in agreement of the family “status-quo” and highlights constantly the problems as they occur.


by Archie 2015

Findings

(This is not an exhaustive list)

  • The experiment was almost terminated due to Pete refusing feel certain emotions that were exposed. He then chose to treat Tristan badly as well as Eloisa. Pete’s resistance to seeing what he is truly doing is an impediment to change in the family
  • Pete and Eloisa spent very little time together during the month as each time they were together there was an issue of love that caused Eloisa to have to leave. They are still spending limited time together as the issues are yet to be resolved
  • Pete has not been honest with how he actually feels and desires to remain in his facade more than actually being truthful about what is going on. This is still currently the case
  • Eloisa’s desire to avoid feeling terror was exposed and reflected in not wanting to uphold love and truth under all circumstances no matter what
  • Eloisa’s allowance of bad treatment of herself was highlighted and her addiction to placate angry people was demonstrated
  • Facing up to the reality and truth of what is currently going on in their relationship and with the children was confronting and challenging for both Pete and Eloisa
  • When we don’t desire to love and rather desire our addictions and facade above all else it can get emotionally nasty
  • Emotional abuse and manipulation is very damaging and destroys relationships
  • Harming others is a choice not because of anything that has happened to us in the past but because we choose to do it
  • Taking loving, truthful action in the moment brings up emotion rapidly
  • Allowing emotion to flow every time it comes up takes time, personal effort and desire
  • Self reflection and giving time to feeling emotions needs to become a way of life rather than something one does now and then
  • Being transparent, honouring truth and love brings consistency, safety and security into a family. Doing the opposite causes pain and reinforces emotional error
  • This experiment highlighted that the issues between Pete and Eloisa (parents) are the cause for the issues currently being played out between the children and being reflected in the children’s behaviour. For example there were times when the children played out the manipulative and emotionally abusive behaviour towards each other in the exact same manner it plays out between Pete and Eloisa

Findings cont…

  • Parents are responsible for the loving authority in a household
  • It is the parents’ responsibility to uphold love and truth in a family
  • One party upholding a loving space can create change in a family. Both parents upholding a loving space and working towards a common goal I imagine would create more change faster (we have yet to experience this)
  • No real or lasting positive change occurs in a family unless parent/s release emotions in themselves that create and or contribute to the current family dynamic
  • If there are issues in parents intimate relationship parents will most likely create co-dependant addictions with the children
  • Parents desire to not feel emotions causes damage, pain & suffering to selves and others
  • Parents desire to avoid feeling emotions prevents children expressing their emotions
  • Parents prefer to blame children than take personal responsibility
  • Parents are often hypocritical with the desire to change children but not change themselves
  • If abuse between parents (emotional, physical, sexual, any type) is happening in a household and one party actively agrees with it and the other allows it this teaches children a number of things, 1. That abuse is okay and they can do the same, and/or 2. That it is okay to be abused and they remain open to being abused, 3. Oscillate between both of the previous points. There might be other things, this is simplified version of what is happening in our family currently.
  • Parent emotional addictions cause children to be mis-educated about love and truth
  • When parents have addictions they actively encourage or allow addictions in children
  • Inter-generational family false beliefs that have not been emotionally released, emotional resistance, and holding onto emotions that not in harmony with love cause harm to children, including emotional pain and suffering, “accidents” and disease
  • Children reflect and respond to the environment they are brought up in
  • Children quickly respond to positive changes in environment if they are allowed to release emotions
  • Children reflect relationship dynamics between parents
  • Children become desensitised to their conscience (the inbuilt mechanism God created in the soul to share Truth with His children)
  • When the family environment encourages sin and addiction, this means children are encouraged to sin and be addictive. Children often believe that the family dynamic is “right” and “normal” which is very damaging when it is not based on God’s Way

**Link to Tristan’s update on this project

Reflections from participants (Eloisa’s) perspective

I was challenged many times (still am). I found the experiment really tough at times and have yet to go through the emotions that have been exposed in me. I feel confronted owning up to the reality and interplay between myself and Pete and even in this post I initially made out it was better than what it is.

The reality of where Pete’s and my relationship is at and our current family culture and family dynamic sucks and I am not enjoying it.

Coming to terms with the reality of where our relationship is at is emotionally confronting. I lack humility to the emotional confrontation. Accepting that Pete and I are currently in a co-dependant emotionally abusive relationship and actually becoming aware of how this affects our soul and what it feels like doesn’t feel very nice.

The experiment highlighted many areas where I have wanted to avoid confrontation and doing what I know to be loving and true just to avoid certain emotions I find challenging to feel.

I am aware that the issues that I am opening up to are not new, they began in my childhood with my parents, I notice I have resistance to feeling the grief and terror of my childhood experience.

I don’t always remain loving and firm (sometimes I just feel angry and want it all to end and someone else do the loving thing). Those times do pass.

Addictions, lack of ethical behaviour in myself and Pete were pointed out and my desire to allow unloving behaviour and not stand up and honour love and truth when anger and violence is threatened was exposed.

For me the quality of courage needs to be developed and some ‘backbone’ grown so I am the person who stands up and takes the loving action in all situations.

The truth is that both parties in a relationship have issues of love to work through and both parties are responsible for changing in a loving direction.

Actually loving someone, truly, as they are, is not something I have sincerely engaged before. (I am learning that putting up with unloving behaviour is not loving them or yourself)

Upholding God’s Truth, maintaining a loving, truthful space even if that means leaving for a period of time and then returning and re-engaging is a whole new way of relating.

I recognised dynamics that previously I had skipped over, such as how desperately I want others to change and do the loving thing so I don’t have to feel my sadness. How I desire to talk my way out of situations I feel uncomfortable in as a way of avoiding feeling my emotions and placating angry people and how futile this is as nothing changes.

Experiencing taking action in the moment an issue occurs and having it enforced rapidly brought up emotion (such as physically leaving a situation rather than remaining to placate anger actually brought up the emotion as soon as I left. I had never just left before.)

I have found emotions need time. It is one thing to have something pointed out to me, another to actually investigate, discover and feel the real feeling. It took time of just being with myself and feeling whatever it is that I felt.

Having truthful conversations about what I really truly feel brings up emotions. The main issue is being humble or not when the emotions come up. If yes good things happen. If no it usually ends up feeling painful and in a fight.

I recognise things that previously I was choosing to remain ignorant of. Having the gift of issues being pointed out in the moment was invaluable, and I feel this is what helped me recognise things I had previously skipped over.

This experiment is challenging and it will turn everything upside down if you choose to engage it. Your relationship and family life will never be the same. I don’t know how it is going to end up personally as I am still engaging the experiment.

The experiment (it is still going for me) is helping me in growing faith and trust in God’s Process.

Though my relationship feels terrible and all kinds of emotional stuff is now exposed, I actually feel better in myself if I address the truth of the situation. I still like Pete, (I don’t like how he treats me ) and want to work out what is happening in our relationship.

I have growing faith that one day Pete and I (if we are soulmates) may actually be happy and totally into each other in a truly loving relationship if I just keep doing everything I can to live The Way to God.

I also realise that if one or both of us choose not to work through our stuff that we may not be together for some time. So I need to work through all my addictive needs so I can truly love.

I would definitely do another home stay if the opportunity is given.

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LC early morning discovery – thistle

Tris gave Pete and I some feedback that I have included below. It is specific to Pete and my relationship dynamic but I felt it might be useful for others

Feedback to Eloisa

  • Focus on what you feel from another, over what they are telling you
  • Focus on being strong about “no more unloving interactions towards myself or others”, not angry but relentless in standing up for what is loving and truthful
  • Focus on “drawing the line in the sand” in regards to unloving behaviour of every kind in the family
  • Be truthful as soon as possible about the intentions you feel
  • After you have been truthful be aware of the other person’s subsequent intentions. Not what they are telling you are their intentions
  • Prepare consequences for unloving behaviour, enact these consequences after giving them the (brief) chance to change (this was in regards to repeated issues of love that have been raised many times)
  • (Optional) Record the unloving behaviour, the consequences and the behaviour you are looking for to be able to rescind the consequences (this is very helpful particularly if you are open to being manipulated easily)
  • Do not go back on these consequences until the emotional desire for behaviour has ceased or you have learned you have been unloving in this interaction from God’s perspective
  • With adults, you may decide that consequences stay enacted until the desire for the unloving behaviour has ceased permanently, with a sincere and complete show of remorse.
  • When you feel your strength slipping understand that someone somewhere is definitely trying to undermine you; this may be family, others or spirits (this is a personal thing that I recognise happening and Tris kindly helped me see it so I can use it as a tool to change what I am currently doing)

Feedback to Pete

  • Focus on what love would do above all other concerns. That includes your worries over what partner is/going to say, do or feel
  • Be brutally self-analytical. If you do not have an airtight understanding of your intentions as “what love would do”, then all interaction should cease in favour for self-analysis
  • Understand that your relationship with resistance is compulsive and as soon as you wish to resist you need to be brutally self-analytical
  • Understand no one else is responsible for how you feel or how you have acted

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Possibilities

  • World wide change in a positive direction in how children are currently treated
  • World wide change in a positive direction in regards to same gender or inter-gender relationships
  • World wide change in a positive direction on what a loving partner relationship truly is
  • World wide change in a positive direction on what parenting truly is
  • I feel this experiment has so much potential for all families
  • Parents can see where they are at, where they are out of harmony with love, what is truly going on from God’s perspective and once you can see this you have the ability to change
  • An opportunity to gain insight and perspective to what is really happening
  • Education on how to be more truthful, loving, self responsible individuals, beginning with the parents upholding a loving family environment
  • If a loving, truthful environment is upheld there is far more opportunity and possibility for the family culture to completely change in a loving direction.
  • Positive change can be engaged by one or both parents.
  • I feel both parties changing in a positive direction would be the most beneficial, but even for one parent to make sincere soul based change, or just to see what is truly happening in the family dynamic and begin to stand up for what is loving, truthful, ethical and moral will create positive change for themselves and anyone else in their environment. (As long as they uphold the love and truth they have learned).

Thank You

I feel much gratitude for having friends who truly love and encourage Pete and I to become better people who honour love and truth above all else.

Thank you to Tristan for spending a month with us, holding a space of love and having a true acceptance of emotional experience even under attack. It was so helpful to see this in action, understanding what and why things are happening in the moment.

Thank you to Jesus and Mary for the suggestion of the experiment, mentoring, encouragement and explaining and sharing Truth with us. Your example and understanding why and what is really going on is extremely helpful.


Where to now

The God’s Way of Education Project is undergoing some modifications.

Having engaged the family experiment Tris realised, and I agree that until the parents make some shifts there is only so much that can happen in educating children.

So Tris is still creating the children’s education programme but the physical lessons are changing with the focus being on parent education. When Tris is ready we will be engaging the Love Education programme as a trial and opportunity to create and write up the Adult Education Programme.

We have realised that without the parents working through emotional issues no change happens for kids and so the Education Project needs to focus on creating a Parent or adult programme simultaneously or before engaging kids.

***

Following the completion of the official family experiment I decided to continue from where we left off with Pete, plus begin a new experiment involving having the kids on my own for a month.

The purpose was to discover what addictions I have created in the children and how I am allowing and enabling those addictions, and stop doing so.

I also aimed to challenge the addictions in the children simultaneously.

That is another blog in itself, link can be found here.

Until next time,

Eloisa

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