I ‘re-discovered’ an outline from some years ago (20140617) that I wrote up in regards to a presentation on parenting I would like to give. I feel really passionate about improving myself as a parent and I thought that others may find the notes useful.
The purpose is to encourage self reflection and self discovery in regards to parenting.
I am excited to share my experiences in regards to experimenting with becoming a loving ‘parent’ from God’s perspective.
I am finding that sincerely engaging God’s Way is the fastest way to change the family dynamic in a loving and lasting way! I know this for certain and recommend God’s Way (more info at the links below) wholeheartedly!
I suggest checking out Jesus & Mary’s website: Divinetruth.com for detailed information as this is what my experiments are based on. Also while a relationship with God is developing, or is non existent, depending on where you are at, the resources Jesus & Mary have and are sharing are very inspiring & helpful in opening one up to and beginning an investigation of understanding in a lot of areas, particularly the Truth about God!!
Quote: We have to seek for Truth if we are ever going to find it. – Jesus
Introduction: Why look at parenting?
There is so much information on parenting out there, (much of it based on punishment and reward), yet often it doesn’t work or it promises ‘quick fixes’ that don’t work long term and don’t actually find or deal with the reason/s why events happen & issues occur between adults & kids (kids & kids, adults & adults) in the first place.
I have been experimenting with Principles of God’s Truth or Divine Truth as presented by my friends, Jesus and Mary Magdalene and these do work and do have lasting positive effects, some immediate, all long term and lasting – when you fully engage the principles involved with your soul rather than your mind. Taking an action without a soul change is not going to be lasting change – ever. ‘Trying is lying’ (as Mary says) – I know, I have tried.
Making positive change will take sincere desire, effort on your part, feeling emotions and a passionate desire and longing to love as God loves- which you will need to grow a desire to do. You can do it with God or without God. I’ve heard with God is faster. This approach is not an overnight fix, it is a life long adventure and a way of life/living – that works. Once a change is made in your soul, it is an forever change on that particular subject.
An exciting change for me is how I feel inside myself and about myself. It seems as my opinion of myself actually grows for real, my life becomes more enjoyable. It makes a wonderful change and I feel more desire to love and get to know others without effort. I haven’t had to ‘try’ and it hasn’t been ‘hard’ when I have made real changes. Things seemed to ‘just happen’ quite smoothly.
I feel excited to have found a way that works and is improving my life in every area – including my relationships with my partner, kids and everyone in my environment in a real way!
Quote: Your soul condition determines your happiness in your life… it determines what you attract in your life to yourself and it determines how rapidly you grow…. It determines what accidents you have, what sicknesses you get, and what love life you have. It determines everything about your life. – Jesus
I would like to share with you some of my personal experiences of engaging God’s Laws and Principles of God’s Truth and the super positive affects they have had in my life with my relationship with children. I want to share these as I’ve found them to be positively life changing! Being honest with myself about how I feel has in some cases made everything instantly better, and even intellectual realisations have helped me understand what’s going on rather than feeling totally helpless. Ignorance is not bliss.
I will be sharing only about things that I have actually experienced. There are many things I do not know yet and many areas I have yet to have experiences in.
When I speak about God, much of it is based on Divine Truth and what I have heard from Jesus and Mary, I am experimenting for myself at the moment. I don’t know a lot about God myself yet. I am excited about what I am discovering.
I am beginning to see that being a parent is a gift – an opportunity to learn about love, God’s Laws, Gods way of loving. I’ve heard that, the reason God had children is because she had a desire to love them. That is it.
If we do not have a pure desire to love our kids – we need to look at why. Having children is an opportunity for each of us to learn how to love in a pure way. To give to a child in a loving way rather than addiction, neediness, demand, expectation etc.
The unhealed emotions in your soul creates the behaviours your children reflects to you and you attracted the perfect personality (of the child) to expose and heal the error in your soul. If we are humble having children can teach us so much about love.
The process I am engaging is about me. Dealing with my unloving behaviour. In dealing with my stuff first it automatically creates change in the children without having to say a thing. To really love we need to begin by looking at ourselves. We need to take personal responsibility for our actions, feelings, emotions and thoughts and look truthfully at what our soul created and attracted. It is examining through God’s Laws: the Law of attraction the behaviour your child is reflecting to you. Children are not ‘bad’ or trying to be. They are often acting out behaviour and sometimes they have no idea why they are doing what they are doing. They are not calculating (when they are small) they have to learn to be manipulative from their environment. You might feel they are manipulative but they are actually just reflecting something in you and/or being influenced by spirits to do something. As they get older the behaviours & feelings you allowed, encouraged or modelled to them become habits, addictions, normalized and children then act out of these rather than their ‘real self’ – nature and personality God designed.
Quote: ‘Every problem external to me has an internal reflection in myself’ – Jesus
I feel we need to take more self responsibility as parents and rather than blaming innocent children and damaging them by being unloving we need to have courage and humility to see and feel our own pain and the damage from our childhoods and be prepared to feel in order to change and heal the injuries fully without involving children in the process.
Actively choosing to harm a person, taking our pain out or on (our) children or suppressing them from feeling because we personally don’t want to feel is unloving. Our sadness, the rage we have, any emotion we personally have, is not because of a child, they didn’t create it in us. Our parents and/or childhood environment did, as did theirs before them, so if we’re going to be angry it needs to be with the people/person responsible. Not an innocent child
We need to be honest with how we feel, take personal responsibility and take it to God, if you do need to express it, express it to the person/s responsible not someone else and not at someone else.
Truth is powerful!
Shared with a genuine feeling of love it is life changing!
There is no justification for unloving or harmful behaviour – so find out why you want to act on the unloving behaviour especially towards children, so you can truly change it. This is going to take self reflection and sincere desire to look at yourself ‘warts and all’.
We need to look at why we are willing to harm children, especially those in our care, or ‘our’ children. (For me I have a feeling I own them and they should do what I tell them. I feel I have a right and I justify that I do it because I ‘love’ them. But actually when I have examined my feelings closely I am not often in harmony with what God sees as ‘right’ and loving. I am very much out of harmony on many subjects and the treatment of children is one of these areas).
I feel that what most parents view as love is actually addiction. It is about what they can ‘get’ emotionally from a child not what they can give, and parenting doesn’t involve much unconditional love.
I have noticed, Violence begets violence, or creates terror which creates violence or allows violence in the end. Me being angry, the kids learn to be angry too and they learn thorugh my modelling that it is acceptable – they act it out towards each other. E.G. hitting each other. I don’t like it when they do this, but it is happening and I need to look inside myself as to why as well as taking loving action (restraining – more on this to come) and talking to the kids about violence and how it is out of harmony with love.
Self Reflection Exercise. Ask yourself:
Do I want to change? be honest
Do I want to love as God loves? If not why not?
Be honesty about how you really feel about these things, really reflect on these questions emotionally, then things can change. If you are not honest with yourself nothing will change.
Often things you want to avoid or fear end up happening – this is the law of attraction at work to expose the unhealed emotion and to give you an opportunity to feel about it and heal it so you never do it again…
If you heal the causal reason you’re doing something in the first place rather than continuously deal with the effects lasting, positive change happens. (The causal reason being the real, emotional reason that drives you to do what you do, feel how you feel, think how you think etc) .
Now is the perfect time to feel and engage a process of growth and change to heal and become more loving. There is no point putting things off because they only get worse. I know from experience… So experiment with your feelings, address any issue right now, in the moment. Now is the perfect time.
I encourage you to try something different, try feeling or at least being truthful with yourself about how you feel, truly, inside. Stop blaming, own your stuff and experiment!
Start with where you are at.
Investigate and feel, grow a passionate desire to feel everything…
Quote: Every time I avoid an emotion inside of myself and avoid the responsibility of feeling it (them) then we project those outwards onto the universe and we damage other people in the universe. When we feel them inside of ourselves then we can grow. – Jesus