Poem: Untitled

I am not afraid of you
I am not worried or concerned when you are overtly unloving and I know your mind

What makes me tremble is why I stay and absorb the sly underhanded manipulation
The underhanded suggestions and comments that one by one erode my worth
That one by one pull apart my personality and nature

The gaslit atmosphere methodical, purposeful, cuts my legs from beneath me
Leaves me lying in the dark, bad, reduced
Asking questions of myself
Of how I came to be here

As you extend your hand
Feign surprise
Ask why I fell
What happened?

I Look around bewildered
We exist in different realities
You do not measure the results of your unloving actions

There is nothing to fear in your truthfulness
Your transparent feelings
What you believe in yourself to be ‘a mess’

I need not fear the wrath and the fury that comes at me when you perceive your facade may crumble before you
I do not fear your deep grief that when expressed will leave you free to be and express yourself to the world, to me

I am wary of you stuffing down your emotion
I am wary of the suppression and calculation
The obsessive desire for addictions to be met at any cost to others
I am wary of the lack of truth that pulls us apart
That shuts off the heart
That numbs us to others pain and suffering
The turning away from what is moral and true
That makes me concerned for me & you

There is nothing to fear in your self expression
Your injured self coming out of hiding
I do not fear what was created by others in the past

I didn’t like the steadfast oppression
I didn’t feel my emotion, I let it wear me down
Steadily to the state of depression

I do not fear you
Or who you are
Nor what you’ve done
Or where you’ve come from

All that has the potential for change
All that can remain in the past
But that is up to you my dearest friend

My concern is you will remain
Right where you are steeped in pain
That you will act out as though it’s real
Not believing there is another way
Or that you will choose to turn to greater darkness
Continue to look where I won’t be able to find you
Where the murky gloam will swallow you down
To places one cannot follow to

I do not fear you
Nor never shall do
I believe that underneath the shallows are long deep caverns where you hide away from yourself

I look forward to the day when you choose to come up into the light
When you embrace your nature
Express your love based desires
Light the passion within you on fire
I look forward to seeing you flourish
At being yourself the way God made you

 

Eloisa, 28 December 2020, 5:00am

Thanks to pexels.com for the images in this post